Oxfordshire Baby & Parenting Guide | Page 42

38 Author and father Stephen Giles gives indispensible advice to dads on how to survive the first six months… Once you get beyond the birth you can expect to launch into a whole new incredible whirlwind of shared emotion, including joy, relief and trepidation about what lies ahead. But work returns all too soon and then other pressures creep back in ... who takes on the childcare? What do you do about sleepless nights and division of labour? How do you support each other and still ensure a good wage is coming in? Let sleeping dads lie ... or not One area in which you may feel you can’t bend is the subject of sleep. There’s precious little of it anyway and if you’re heading back to work you might justifiably want to be DIVIDE focusing on getting your eight hours. But while this attitude is understandable, it’s just not workable, especially if your baby isn’t sleeping well. Your partner simply won’t be able to cope with such a serious burden and no one can be expected to stay awake night after night. The best option is to devise a sensible plan to share the night feeds that allows you to get a workable amount of sleep but which also allows your partner to rest at the right time too. Work it out Heading back to work brings its own challenges. When a friend of mine went back to work after the birth of his first son he tried his best to be professional in the office. Sadly, no one told his colleagues about this, and they spent hours bombarding him with requests for photos, offers of second-hand trikes and burp cloths, and general reminiscences about their own experiences of parenthood. Whether or not office life returns to normal for you, it is time out of the house and away from the routine of baby care. You’ll need to ensure your partner has some time off to break her routine with the baby – maybe the occasional afternoon out, or a night on the tiles with friends; something that will reassure her that life isn’t moving on without her.