Taking liberties!
The world outside the box.
Words: Glenton ‘Liberty’ Matthyse
When you become the image of your own imagination, it is the most powerful
thing you can ever do – Ru Paul.
S
ometimes we underestimate the power that our own
original existence carries. Instead we often decide,
knowingly or unknowingly, to buy into the existence
of others and see them as having more value and
importance. Instead of just being ourselves, we aspire to be like
them, we subconsciously aspire to be them.
Many people love Beyoncè. Many people want to live, look and
be Beyoncè. Many people loose themselves in aspiring towards
“beyonceness”. ‘Beyonce’ being a metaphor for anyone popular
who are elevated to being beyond the realms of ‘ordinary’ people
in society and even within our own communities. Please do not
misread what I mean. Having a role model you look up to is good.
However, when you want to change who you are because you like
who they are more, then such aspiration ought to be questioned.
It is concerning when we blindly follow our superstars believing
all that they tell us and portray to us. Take Beyonce’s recently
released ‘Formation’ music video as an example. Many members
of the Beyhive (dieheart Beyoncè supporters) lost themselves in
Beyoncè that they were unable to appreciate the critical views of
human rights activists. They seemingly were unable or reluctant
to consider the effects of the imagery in the music video and
disconnected lyrics on the lives and narratives of black people
with poor working class struggles in a capitalist society. Many
of these Beyhive supporters themselves come from and live
poor black working class struggles. The fantasy of and wanting
to be Beyoncè stands in stark contradiction to the reality of our
everyday lives. And in as much as the fantasy portrays itself as a
liberating reality, the reality is that the fantasy exudes oppression.
Trying hard to live an authentic life? Have you ever sat down and
asked yourself the questions: ‘Am I being me? Or am I living a
life for the pleasure of others?’ Have you ever asked yourself: ‘Am
I living a life where I become what people want me to be?’ For
if I am not that which they want me to be, I am no-one. A life
that says that in order for me to matter as someone, I need to
live up to peoples’ expectations. Indeed, I certainly know these
questions and the feelings they stir all too well. Perhaps you can
relate as well…
Growing up, I was constantly bombarded with peoples’
opinions and images of what they wanted me to be – this butch,
heterosexual, intelligent boy. To my demise, I sought hard to find
beyonces that I could role a masculine-aggressive, heterosexual
model after. This is a far cry from where I am at now in my life. For
a while, trying to break out of the masculine male mould which
I was forced to conform to, aspiring to become and embody the
imaginary of Liberty Banks was the most gender progressive step
to take in my life. The creation of Liberty Banks was a rebellion
against what society wanted me to be. However, as I am growing,
I am realising more and more that Liberty in hirself is a persona
I have constructed in the confines of a box based on realistically
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unattainable standards. Subconsciously Liberty was created
to embody that which Miss South Africa, Miss World and Miss
Universe embody. In this way Liberty hirself thus upholds the
very foundations of gender binaries and was never truly liberated
from sexual and gender oppression. Liberty became a tool of
self-oppression whilst stumbling towards emancipation. In this
moment of life, I am at the point of needing to push the envelope
further. However, this push is not forced and unnatural. It is
motivated by the internal currents of my life. It thus manifests
itself externally in complex ways not easily respected by society
on account of their limited understanding of human sexualities
and gender identities.
My Body, a site representing aspects of my identity, a site of
pleasure has also been a site of social and political warfare.
Even though I do not accept this, and even though hard, I can
understand much of the ignorance and belief-systems that fuel