Our Sexuality! Magazine Spring 2017 - Page 17


Infidelity or affairs just don’t happen to bad people or bad relationships, it can happen to people no matter the class, income or race. No one is immune to Infidelity.

According to author Peggy Vaughan there is no one reason for an affair but three contributing factors:

*Factors that push people into affairs could be anything from Boredom to


*Factors that pull people to into affairs can be curiosity to enhanced self-


*Society factors can also influence affairs. Affairs are glamorized in the

media through television and even in songs. Secrecy and the lack of

communication make it a topic difficult to talk about.

Seven Facts You Need to Know About Infidelity

1. A happy marriage is not a vaccine against infidelity.

2. The person having the affair may not be giving enough at home rather than

not getting enough.

3. It is normal to be attracted to another person, but fantasizing about what it

would be like to be with that other person is a danger sign.

4. Flirting is crossing the line because it is an invitation that indicates


5. Infidelity is not only about love or sex–it about maintaining appropriate

boundaries with others and being open and honest in your committed


6. You do not have to have sexual intercourse to be unfaithful. Passionate

kissing or oral sex is a violation of your commitment to your partner.

7. Emotional affairs are characterized by secrecy, emotional intimacy, and

chemistry. Emotional affairs can be more threatening than brief sexual flings.

Seven Tips for Preventing Infidelity

1. Maintain appropriate boundaries with members of the opposite sex, including

friends of the relationship, family members, and people at work. Think about

what should be sacred between husband and wife.

2. Recognize that work can be a danger zone. Don’t lunch alone or take coffee

breaks with the same person all the time. When you travel with a co-worker,

meet in public rooms, not in a room with a bed.