Our Sexuality! Magazine Spring 2017 - Page 11

Here are some tips to keeping the vow?

Understand why you want to take this vow before you do so. There are many reasons why people take this vow. You have to remain intentional with your decision and remember why you made the vow in the first place. Desires aren’t going anywhere. They’re natural. We were created as sexual beings and will have desires from the time we’re born until we die. So it's important to keep your mind focused and stay busy.

Talk It Over with Your Partner, if you have one. Making the decision to stop knocking boots can definitely create some serious tension between you and your Beloved! Taking it over with your partner and creating a “transition” plan can help to reduce the drama in your relationship. Spend time focusing on different types of coupled activities that are not sexual or physical in nature will help to strengthen the relationship, build trust and enhance intimacy. You might just find out how much you really like each other. However, if your partner is not supportive then perhaps you may want to reconsider the relationship.

Choose Your Dates Wisely. Take time to get to know your partner. What is the rush? Sex, especially casual sex, does not come without a cost and that cost could just be your life. Be selective with whom you choose to date. Trying to abstain from sexual activities while dating someone who is sexually active is a recipe for disaster. It’s probably best to consider dating someone who has also made the decision to be abstinence, this way you both can support each other in maintaining your commitment.

Know Your Triggers and Avoid Temptation. This may be really difficult especially if you’ve been sexual before. However, its extremely important that you learn to avoid temptations. Do not put yourself in situations that might tempt you to give in to your sexual desires such as being alone with someone to whom you are attracted. Even hugging and kissing can lead to much more, therefore it is extremely important that you avoid putting yourself in situations that may trigger your sexual thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Get New Hobbies. This period of sexual abstinence is a great time to reconnect with yourself! Pursue your favorite hobby activity. You may avoid people and things that may turn you on sexually. For example, if you know that when you hang out with friends and go to the club that you’re likely to have a few drinks and end up leaving with someone to have sex, then you need to replace that club and perhaps those friends with a more healthy hobby that less likely to incite sexual thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

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