Our Sexuality! Magazine Spring 2017 - Page 16

Written by: Renelle E. Nelson LMFT, CST

Shining The Light On Infidelity

The subject of Infidelity is heavily portrayed in the media from television show to the music we listen to. It may be time to really discuss the subject in order gain more information on the topic and discuss how it can be prevented to finally lift the veil of secrecy to start more effective and honest conversations about infidelity.

Infidelity is a subject that needs to be discussed before it happens. Couples need to discuss the subject to determine how it may play out in their relationship and how to handle it if one partner feels they want to step outside the marriage. Attraction to others or temptations to people other than your spouse needs to be discussed honesty. Many people think affairs are wrong and never should be discussed. This societal view only supports the subject and lets affairs become provided the code of secrecy. This make affairs glamorous and like forbidden fruit for some. This way or thinking assists those involved or thinking about an affair or in the affair to believe that there may not be any consequences because secrecy protects this behavior. Communication and honesty again are major keys to assist in the fight against infidelity. Monogamy or the belief should never be assumed. Couples need to make agreement on their relationship style and relationship expectations. They will benefit in surrounding themselves with the same peers and couples that support their views. Monogamy is something you may want and is expected in a marriage or long term relationship, but that belief or expectation doesn’t prevent affairs from happening. Honest conversation about temptation and attraction can’t be detoured by threats. Threats about consequences only promote dishonesty resulting in lies and secrecy.