Lessons For An Urban Ghosting
Ghosting is a term that often describes a man or woman who suddenly without warning disappears from that “ relationship ” without a trace . Their noncommunication could be interpreted as falling off the face of the earth , a radio silence , a humming vibration of nothingness . Yes that ’ s right , not a text , call , email , a smoke signal or sighting . Wait , it gets worse . It you try to reach out to see if they still have a pulse , save your energy for your own healing because you probably will not get a response ! Ghosting can occur early on in a relationship ( after a few dates ) or after many years . It can also be intermittent , known as the on again , off again relationship .
Both men and women seem to ghost fairly equally . They try to sneak out the back door without you noticing . Problem is that before long their silence is more torturous than walking on hot coals . With the exception of an abuser who doesn ’ t deserve any explanation , ghosting can be cruel and insensitive . It can create feelings of trauma ( sometimes causing symptoms of PTSD ), despair , disappointment , confusion , frustration and heartbreak . Ghosting can leave a trail of havoc and destruction in its wake .
In my book , Lessons for An Urban Goddess , I mention the importance of gathering “ red flag ” information and processing that information with a smart heart . It ’ s imperative that you educate yourself by learning the red flags of potential “ ghosting ” so you can spot a potential abandoner early on . Here are some important questions to ask yourself :
Is this person consistent with you ? Do they call or show up when they say they will ? Do they keep their word ? Are they able to say no at times or do they seem afraid to disappoint you and others ? ( People pleasers ). Does this person seem to have difficulty expressing emotion , confusion , mild anger or hurt ? Do they have difficulty when you express emotion ? Have you caught them in repeated lies ? Does this person withdraw at the slightest sign of conflict , disagreement or difficulty ? Has this person implemented more than once a silent treatment or stonewalling ? Is your intuition flagging you that “ something is off ” even though you can ’ t put your finger on it ? If you answered yes to one or more , be cautious . You could be dealing with a potential abandoner .
Some of the causes of ghosting :