Word Fun
A bit of fun with words
A lexophile is a lover of words , especially in word games , puzzles , anagrams , palindromes . These are quite corny so we thought you ’ d enjoy them !
A man ’ s home is his castle , in a manor of speaking .
Shotgun wedding — a case of wife or death .
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy .
A hangover is the wrath of grapes .
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play .
Two silk worms had a race - they ended up in a tie .
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red .
When two egotists meet , it ’ s an I for an I .
A bicycle can ’ t stand on its own because it is two tired .
What ’ s the definition of a will ? ( It ’ s a dead give away .)
Time flies like an arrow . Fruit flies like a banana .
In democracy your vote counts ; in feudalism your count votes .
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off .
I had a teacher named Mrs Noble — she was queen of English
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion .
If you don ’ t pay your exorcist , you get repossessed .
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered .
Every calendar ’ s days are numbered .
A lot of money is tainted - taint yours and taint mine .
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat .
He had a photographic memory that was never developed .
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large .
Once you ’ ve seen one shopping centre , you ’ ve seen a mall .
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis .
When she saw her first strands of gray hair , she thought she ’ d dye .
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of the feet .
Santa ’ s helpers are subordinate clauses .
A backward poet writes inverse .
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I ' ll show you A-flat miner .
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds .
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart .
He broke into song because he couldn ’ t find the key .
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end .
If you jump off a Paris bridge , you are in Seine .
Acupuncture : a jab well done .
The roundest knight at king Arthur ' s round table was Sir Cumference . He acquired his size from too much pi .
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island , but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
She was only a whisky maker , but he loved her still .
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work .
No matter how much you push the envelope , it ’ ll still be stationery .
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering .
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall . The police are looking into it .
Atheism is a non-prophet organization .
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway . One hat said to the other , “ You stay here , I ’ ll go on a head .”
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger . Then it hit me .
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said : ‘ Keep off the Grass .’
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital . When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was , a nurse said , ‘ No change yet .’
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran .
When cannibals ate a missionary , they got a taste of religion .
Don ’ t join dangerous cults : Practice safe sects .
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