page 14
opinions
A Little Sheep Told Me: how to avoid top life regrets
ANGIE SHEEP
Arts & Culture Editor
This week’s article may be a little morbid to
read as I am writing about the top regrets
of the dying. I stumbled upon this topic as I
was aimlessly surfing the Internet (during
class time, of course) and thought it came at
a most suitable time. As many of us obsess
over impending OCI’s or other stressors in
our lives, I want to introduce some objectivity and perhaps calmness to our racing minds.
You’ve probably seen this list before, but I’m
almost certain most of you have forgotten it.
How could you not? Death seems to be miles
away and we are really just beginning our lives
and careers. But I encourage you to ponder
this list not in light of death, but in consideration that these realizations can happen anytime, and anywhere. They hide in the shadows
of our minds and occasionally rear their heads
in times of vulnerability. However, we always
choose to push these warnings aside and
persist with our “goals” and “dreams”. So I
encourage you to think of them now and adjust
the things that are propelling you towards this
regretful path. Because, unlike the people who
contributed to this list, you still can.
Bonnie Ware is the woman to thank for this
week’s inspiration. She is an Australian nurse
who has worked many years in palliative care.
As a result, she was exposed to many patients
during the last weeks of their lives. Ware
became close to many of these patients and
discovered 5 common themes that resurfaced
again and again as the patients came closer
each day to their respective departures. She
shared these findings in her book titled The
Top Five Regrets of the Dying, which is what
motivated me to write this article.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true
to myself, not the life others expected of
me
This was the most common regret amongst
all the patients. When they looked back on the
paths they took and didn’t take, they started
to realize that they failed to honour their real
dreams. At this point, it’s too late and their
only choice left is eventual acceptance. In our
daily lives and at Osgoode, we are constantly
pushed towards certain decisions despite
our hesitations. We do this often because it
seems to be the best way to succeed, because
our peers are all heading down that path, or
because it’s simply the easiest way. I am also
guilty of this thinking and can’t blame anyone
but myself if I end up working 80-hour weeks
because I was the one who forced myself to do
tuesday - october 15 - 2013
so. But I’m starting to realize that this is not
my dream (if it can be considered a dream at
all); I’m living someone else’s.
I don’t think you need to overhaul your entire
planned path to live a life true to yourself,
because some things are simply unavoidable
(you have to work to eat don’t you?). I think
it’s more about finding a balance. Give yourself
the opportunity to realize some of your dreams
along the way. And don’t postpone; do it when
you have the advantage of health. As Ware so
aptly put it, “health brings a freedom very few
realize, until they no longer have it.”
I wish I didn’t work so hard
This was a more prominent regret for male
patients than their female counterparts and
those in the law profession may be even more
susceptible to this than the average person.
While Ware speaks about people missing their
children’s youth and partner’s companionship,
I’d like to highlight the forgone opportunities
of friendship, enjoyment and fun. I think many
of us are already guilty of this now. Studying
at Osgoode is stressful and competitive, especially when your entire future seems to be
based on the grades you receive. So our solution is to work and then work some more. If
the mere possibility of “beating the curve” is
worth it to you, I am probably not able to convince you otherwise; but for those of you who
want something else, look up, go out, and do
what you actually enjoy. Is it possible that you
don’t need straight A’s? Is it possible that you’d
rather be happy than study yourself to oblivion? When you create more space in your life,
you become open to opportunities that would
never have gotten your attention when you
were deep in the trenches. And who knows,
one of these opportunities may lead you to a
job that is even greater and more suitable to
your new lifestyle. The books may get you the
grades, but it’s people who give and get you
jobs, so don’t forget about the people, including
your peers.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my
feelings
We often suppress our feelings in order to
keep the peace. At Osgoode, we are constantly
reminded that the legal profession is very
small, our peers are very likely our future
colleagues, word travels fast, reputations
are easily ruined, and hard to rebuild. These
friendly hints make it especially difficult to
speak openly and honestly, resulting in unnec-
essary gossip, misunderstandings, and bitterness. I think we are taking these reminders too
far; it’s not telling us to say nothing, but to be
courteous and professional in expressing our
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