page 6
news
Canadians briefly outraged by discriminatory Russian law
before changing channel to Breaking Bad
EVAN IVKOVIC
Staff Writer
Canadians worldwide reacted in disbelief upon
hearing news of Russia’s new policy regarding tolerance of homosexuals, sexual minority
groups, and allegedly non-traditional sexual
propaganda. They then quickly changed the
channel to watch the new episode of Breaking
Bad.
rant that reminds us of our racist grandfather.
“Once again, I want to reiterate that sexual
minorities are not being unfairly targeted as a
result of this law”, Putin insisted, while giving
a nearby homosexual man a painful looking
purple nurple.
a Breaking Bad advert and completely missed
everything he said.
Many others are critical of Russia’s new law, as
well. As alluded to earlier, Olympic performers are protesting the event en masse. Alleged
“athlete” and professional curler Kevin Martin
staunchly disThe controverapproves of the
sial law spelaw, and plans
cif ically bans
to attend pro“propaganda of
tests against the
non-traditional
law, in addition
sexual relations
to the “many,
among minors”,
many, and I
which ma ny
mean many procritics of the
tests” he has
law interpret
already particias being vague
pated in. When
and ambiguasked if he
ous enough to
would neverthepermit unjust
less participate
treatment of
in the Olympics,
homosexuals
Kevin responded
and other sexual
by
say i ng,
minorities at
“Well… I mean,
the discretion
my sponsorship
of government
with Gatorade
officials. One
depends on my
YELLOW PLASTIC JUMPSUITS AND AVANT-GARDE HEADWEAR: PUNISHABLE IN RUSSIA (AND performance in
Moscow man,
MAYBE IN QUÉBEC: SEE PAGE 11).
Igor Ivlovsky,
the Olympics. I
was arrested
curl for a living,
for wearing a pink shirt, a pair of capris and
The Obiter approached, at random, Canadian the fact that I even have a paying sponsorship
a pair of loafers. He told us, “I’m not even
civilians on the street, encouraging them to
is a miracle and I intend to hold onto it for dear
gay, I just desperately want to be stylish, so I
share their thoughts in one of our television
life.” Our interview with Kevin ended with him
model my fashion sense over what soccer play- segments, “So What F???RF?????V??( ??VV???VF??r?( ??V6R7F?????R?R?( ?2vP?W'2vV"??F??Vv?F?&Rf?"F??v?fW&??6????R?V7&???&?VB???G&V?W"?6?B?( ?'W2?v?v&F???6?VBv?g&????????V?B???WFf?Bv2&?&&????B?bg'V?G??( ?6? ( ?2?rv??7Bv?7??&??2?B??VvVBv??vR&?6?VB??F?W"'W76?????v??v???( ?&?v?F ( ??2&?v?FVB?V??W7B??Bv?'7B?b?Wf???'F???2??BF?R???????2W&f?&?W"F?B?2??B??v?F?'W76? ( ?27F?6P?&V?????????W2?GW&??r?W"7F?????66?r????G&v?2?'WB?V??v6?( ?BF?R?7BW?6?FP?F?v&G26W?V????&?F?W2?'W76???F?????6???r???&?WB??2F??Vv?G2??F?R?Wr'W2??b'&V???r&B??7&VF?&?S??N( ?2???( ?fR&VV????v&6??b?7VVB6?FW"?B7GV?F?6???rF?BvR6?V&?W?&W76VB2&V??p?F????r&?WBF?F??( ???R6?F??v?V?6?V@??WFR?W?&W76VB?W"gW'?v?F?F?R?rF?W2??V??W7BBF?RF??R?b?W"7V??F?6Rv?F??????&?WB??2????????F?R?Wr'W76???rF?@?6???r?( ?F?R?r?2?W7BvgV??F?Rv?'7B'@??RF?V?&?6VVFVBF?&VBW2W?gFW'v&G2???2????2F??WFW2&?FW7F??rF?RWfV?B?@??2F?BfWrV??RG'V?6&R??F?W"F??F??6P?v?F??W"?VG2F?v??vRF?????R&6?F??F?R?fW&&6???rv??&?6???V??G?6?v?F??F?B&RF?&V7F?ffV7FVB'??B?7V6?f?6???6?F??F?7?V6VBv?F?F?R'W76??v?fW&??V?B?6?B??6W?V????&?F?W2F?V?6V?fW2?WfV????p?( ?V??v?B?s?????F??( ?B&V??f????rF?P?f?F??"WF?????7FFV?V?BF?F?R&W72B?Ww2?6?''??( ?vRF?V?GFV?FVBF?F?RF?RF??6R?v?BvV?V??V?6&R???7B?bF?RF??P?F?Rf????V?'??VWF??r?bF?Rf?F???FW&????WFR&WV?&VBF???f?&???R&?WBF?R?r???bF?V?"6V?b??FW&W7B?26??V??rF?&VFV?VB??F????F?67W76???6?V"????F??VBF?BF?R?p?F?V?"?WG&vR?fW"F?R?rV?F??FV?F?W2?'WB?Rv?VBv?g&??W2&V6W6R?R?BF??F?W2??BF?67&???FRv??7Bv?2???"F?W0?( ??VWBg&?V?B??"v?F?F?RFV?F?7B??"6??R?&6?6VB??N( ?2?W7B6B?( ?vRF?V?V?6????7@??B??g&??vR??F?R&?v?G2?b6W?V????&?F?W2??FW&W7B???7FV???rF???v?"F???r????&P?F???r??RF?B?( ??6?V?F?6'W''???F?fR?`?( ?F?R?r?2FW6?v?VBF???Wf?FRF?R&?&?V?&W6V&6???'W76? ( ?2?Wr?r?B&Vv?&??vP?F?&??F??B??v??&?VF?6V?b?FV?F?f?W0??bWW&?V??V?F???FV6??W2?2v??"?2v??6?B?( ??fR??BF?6?&R&?WBF??0?vF6???r'&V???r&BW?6?FW2??&W&F????&?vW2F???B&?GV6R6???G&V??BvRF???@??Wr?r?Bv???B?2??'&?&?V??W7B?f?"f?"F?RW6???rf???R??v?BF?FWV?B?????w&?G2f?"?V?F?????^(
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