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A R T S & CU LT U RE
Jurisfoodence
» continued from page 11
The Food:
Dan: A swarm of servers have dropped off a bunch
of small plates. What are these things? I immediately regret having you “guide” this experience. I
recognize steamed dumplings, and this soup looks
palatable but what is this shiny tubule-like item? I
went for it with good-faith gusto and the result is
honestly torture. This “mouthfeel” is so bad right
now. Why is it hot and slimy? Slime is not a desirable food experience.
Luke: Yeah, you were struggling. Highlights for
me included the Chinese olive and pork dumplings,
which were tender and creatively-spiced, and the
shrimp and mango roll, which was a refreshing
take on the usual deep fried take-out version. The
soup was fine but definitely not remarkable. As for
the unknown, unnamed and unordered slimy dish,
it was horrifying! I can’t decide if they mixed us
up with another table or just saw your face and
wanted to mess with you. After some cursory
web research, I believe it may have been cheung
fung. This dish confirmed the worst preconceptions (and your worst nightmares) about this type
of cuisine. In general, though, I thought most of
the dumplings and the tender riblets were great.
The preparation was somewhat hurried and the
S CORE
DA N
LU K E
FOOD
1
3.5
SERVICE
3
4
ATMOSPHERE
3
4
OV E R A LL : 3 / 5
#noteverybosslikesthesamesoss
dumpling casings were a little too sticky, but in
this price range, Cha Lau is very good.
Dan: Apparently cheung fung is a tube made out
of rice, intended to look/feel like pig intestine.
It’s the perfect hangover cure, Osgoode. Serious.
The ribs were legitimately only bone and fat, but
somehow delicious. My soup was ok, though the
broth was a bit weak. I was pretty much doomed
to never taste my beef dumpling since it stuck to
the dish it arrived on, then stuck to my chopsticks,
then stuck again to my plate, ripping and spilling
everywhere. Dessert was redeeming though. The
egg tarts were interesting, and the duck pastry
was nicely flaky - though meat desserts are not
really in my wheelhouse. The sesame balls were
really cool, though I’m glad you warned me they
were full of black sesame paste, or after everything
else I may have fainted.
Luke: I too thought the meal finished well. The
line between dim sum main course and dessert
is, without a doubt, somewhat blurred to a beginner. Still, the sesame balls were like spicy timbits
and the duck pastry was crumbly and rich. I would
come here just for tea (which is complimentary)
and desserts!
Amenities and service:
Dan: Cha Lau is nice inside; the gray tile and black
leather booths reminded me of a high-end sushi
spot. Service was generally prompt and courteous.
However, I was blown away that not one of the 3
people we asked could (would?) correctly identify
that mystery food item. I swear you ordered it to
see if you could literally make me die inside. We’re
going to have to do some trust falls before your
next pick, Luke.
Luke: The atmosphere was relaxed yet tasteful. I
thought the food service was paced well and the
servers were professional. Given the strip of Yonge
Street on which Cha Lau is located, which is
known for “adult” entertainment and “hemp” clubs,
I was also pleased the bathroom was modern and
the restaurant was completely free of bleach and
dishwasher odors. If you like dim sum, this place is
definitely worth a trip!
p i c tu r e d : the b r o a d se l e c ti o n o f g r eats that l e f t d an uni m p r esse d .
Monday, February 24, 2014