OPINION
10 Obiter Dicta
Right into the Jaws of Madness
A Make or Break Moment for Sanity in Politics
-
ian mason
2016 looks like it’s going to be a pretty weird year
for politics; if current trends continue, it’s only going
to get weirder. Canada’s mostly avoided the worst of
the lunacy that seems to be taking hold of the United
States, but between Kevin O’Leary thinking about
running for the the federal Conservative leadership and Doug Ford salivating at the prospect of any
kind of future political career, a disturbing pattern
seems to be emerging. Donald Trump may be a regular source of concern and/or comedy for a Canadian
populace currently governed by moderates, but we
have two similarly questionable figures preparing to throw their hats in the ring. Conservatives
in North America seem to be going through some
kind of existential crisis, and—unfortunately—the
political right currently seems bent on telling rational thought to shut up and sit down.
Admittedly, I find the situation unfolding in the
United States to be quite frightening. I’m not entirely
certain that Donald Trump isn’t just trolling the GOP
to stay relevant. He’s essentially a walking parody of
neoliberal conservatism, and there’s a damned good
chance he’ll actually win the nomination. The bestcase scenario would involve him b owing out at the
last second, saying this was all a convoluted attempt
to make the Republican Party take a hard look at the
monster in the mirror, but that would be giving the
man too much credit. With every passing day, this
whole situation becomes less of a joke, and more the
political equivalent of a racist relative’s drunken
tirade at a Christmas party that leaves everyone
wondering how to distribute their embarrassment
among the assorted guests and hosts.
It’s not like the GOP alternatives are any better.
One runner up is Ben Carson, a brain surgeon who
seems to have gained support because he’s a black
man who’s smarter than
Herman Cain and appare n t l y h a s n’t s e x u a l l y
harassed his employees.
Unfortunately, he’s pulling the same “dramatically
oversimplify the taxation
system and propose something akin to tithing that
would send the US economy into a death spiral
before the end of his first term” thing that Cain
proposed (remember his 9/9/9 plan? No? Probably
because it somehow wasn’t the dumbest thing he
did). The sad fact is a lot of Republicans in the US
are eating this up, basically because they—somewhat fairly—think a brain surgeon can’t be stupid.
Sure, maybe he can’t be stupid, but he can be ignorant or dishonest, and it’s starting to look like he’s
a whole lot of both. The other seven contenders
don’t warrant mentioning, since the only difference between them and these two front-runners is
that they aren’t as audacious in their idiocy. Cruz
and Rubio apparently snuck into second and third
place in recent weeks, but the less said about either
of them, the better. When Jeb Bush is ultimately the
smart one, you’re in serious trouble.
Hopefully, two things will happen in the current political landscape, because if they don’t, politics in this continent is going to get a whole lot
crazier. First, the political left and centre need to
ê Mural in East Belfast. Courtesy of
www.satellitemagazine.com
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bring their proverbial A game. One can scoff at your
Trumps, Palins, and Fords all one likes, but in the
end, too many screw-ups like the provincial gas
plant scandal can only ruin a party’s credibility. The
media jumped on Trudeau’s use of public funds to
pay for nannies, something
that’s enti rely com mon
pract ice. Ever y t h i ng a
pol it icia n does is subject to ludicrous scrutiny,
and as much as “nannygate” became nothing more
than a punchline in short
order, even a slight misuse
of public money can have
serious ramifications. He
needs to keep his doorstep spotless, as do
any and all moderates in this country.
The second thing that needs to happen is that the
political right has to get its act together. Stephen
Harper was so crooked he needed assistants to
screw on his pants in the morning (to quote Hunter
S. Thompson’s assessment of Richard Nixon), but
the guy knew how to keep the fringe elements
of his party in check. It was part of what made
him so simultaneously impressive and terrifying. He was conscious of the fact that doing something like reopening the abortion debate would be
political suicide, and when the “Great Recession”
happened, he knew the Canadian public would
figuratively crucify him if he played the austerity card. He was corrupt, narcissistic, power-hungry swine, but he was smart, and as much as I hate
saying it, he was competent. Canada is better off
without such an amoral person in such a position of
power, but if his replacement doesn’t somehow balance the grim, calculated pragmatism of rational
When Jeb Bush is
basically the smart
one, you’re in
serious trouble
conservatism with the skill and shrewdness needed
to run a country of over thirty million people, we’re
in trouble. When engaged in a competition, you
can’t improve unless faced with an opponent who
at least matches your skill, and if our country’s left
or centre isn’t up to the task of facing a worthy foe,
said foe deserves to govern, even if only by default.
In the end, that’s what terrifies me most about the
situation unfolding in the US. The Republican candidates are all completely morally bankrupt, pathetically incompetent, or both. A well-meaning buffoon
can ruin a country by accident. A skillful monster
can ruin a country by design. I don’t want to know
what happens when a monstrous buffoon is put in
charge of the most powerful country in the world.
Rob Ford caused enough problems for a city of less
than three million, and he was effectively neutered
by a city council that knew where to draw the line (I
also get the impression that he meant well, but his
ignorance, personal demons, and sycophantic supporters prevented him from even getting close to
reason). Donald Trump has a chance of governing
a country of over three hundred million people—I
wouldn’t be surprised if he set the world on fire just
to prevent anyone else from enjoying it.
Hopefully, rational thought will prevail across the
political spectrum, and Trump will become a sad
historical footnote like Dewey or Hubert Humphrey.
Unfortunately, victory over lunacy cannot be
assumed. All that needs to happen for the barbarians
at the gates to succeed is for smart, moral people to
fail. If we end up with Trump as the US president or
Doug Ford as the Canadian Prime Minister, it won’t
just be the fault of an uninformed, selfish electorate:
it will also be the fault of complacent moderates who
took victory for granted.