Oasis Magazine - Cairns & Tropical North Queensland Issue 21 - Dec|Jan 2018 | Page 4

This is not a Joke THIS IS YOUR DUTY

WARNER ’ S CORNER
DAVE WARNER Star 102.7
A lot of people will try to tell you what the most important thing about being a father is . However - and this is pretty sad – a lot of people are wrong .
Yeah , sure - providing a safe , loving and supportive environment enabling your kids to reach their full potential with educational opportunities and positive life experiences is important .
Yeah nah , that ’ s not it .
The reason we are here , fellow fathers , our primary role , is to teach our kids how to roll their eyes and wince at the same time .
And how do we do that ?
By consistently and repetitively delivering the greatest gift we could ever give our children .
The Dad Joke . I have three , possibly four children . ( It ’ s a long story , but pre-kids , a psychic told me I was going to have four children to three different mothers . The score currently sits at three kids / two mothers , but I did spend a very loose five weeks in Norway in ’ 96 .)
What all that means is I ’ m well and truly licensed to tell Dad Jokes . I ’ m a fully paid-up , voting member . And if you have at least one , or one on the way , then it ’ s not just your God-given paternal right . It ’ s actually your duty , Sir .
So , when you ’ re sitting around the Christmas table , embrace the power of the faded crepe paper crown . Be the King . It is your Court and you hold it . Ban the bonbon jokes and the toy whistles they rode in on , and supersize that lameness with one of your own home-baked turkeys .
Dad ’ s Jokes work best in situ . With that in mind , maybe buy your kids the game of Scrabble for Christmas , for the sole purpose of enabling you to deliver what I believe to be the holy grail of Dad Jokes for the low low price of just $ 39.95 .
“ Scrabble ! It ’ s all good fun until someone loses an ‘ I ’.”( Get it ?! Loses an eye … but the letter ‘ I ’. Get it ?) Cue the eye roll with the wince .
Next time they kids eating a banana , “ I see you ’ re eating Beethoven ’ s favourite fruit … Ba-Na-Na-Naaah !”
Hilariousness !
If they ask you for a password suggestion that has to be at least eight characters long , you are of course , required to respond with “ How about Snow White and the Seven Dwarves ?”
Then drop the mic . Dad Jokes aren ’ t just your right . They are your duty .
Merry Christmas .
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