NYU Black Renaissance Noire Fall 2013 - Page 134

m Blue Woman, #4, 2011 Charcoal, pastel, acrylic emulsion, and ink on paper 72” x 42” m Drawing #3, 2011 Charcoal, pastel, acrylic emulsion, and ink on paper 60 “ x42” m Blue Woman #5, 2011 Charcoal, pastel, acrylic emulsion, and ink on paper 60” x42” rm: So, awareness of the old story came later, and then you got involved? dc: When we would go down to the seashore, we would carry the offerings, flowers, the old woman, whom we called mother, she was channeling the spirit for us, and she would ask it questions. rm: You would participate, then, but my next question is the tough one, were you a bystander? dc: I did participate rm: But were you inside or outside? dc: I was like an outsider insider, because I wanted to find out more about this thing, but I was outside. Outside, inside; inside, outside, I was looking at it all with a semiconscious mind. rm: That word strikes a chord with me, sometimes I think that even though I am outside in my rational, conscious mind, in the back or bottom of my brain I might still believe in all those things. So, you are partly in the olive tree, but where is the Lexus? dc: I was inside on the outside; I was looking to find out things, what these people are looking for? What is so important in what they are looking for? Because I’m not feeling it. rm: You were not feeling it? dc: No, I wasn’t. I would see these people, the drums were beating, and they were going into a trance state, but I wasn’t feeling it. rm: They are having an encounter with the sacred. dc: But I wasn’t feeling it, I was the tourist, looking on, but I was just pretending. rm: George Bataille said that modern people are discontinuous and fragmented, pulled apart by modern life, we go after the sacred still because we want continuity again, we want to be put back together again, he thought sex was a way to do that too, though it seems like we’ve managed to pull that apart too, but those people were being put back together again by their experience, but you were not feeling it. 132 dc: No, I wasn’t involved in it. BRN-FALL-2013.indb 132 rm: There is no cult situation then, you’re a modern. dc: There was another situation, maybe this might help figure things out. After I had gone to this ceremony several times, I came home from work one day, early, about noon, I came to my studio and went to bed, I wanted to take a nap. So I fell asleep, but then I felt that his great presence, this mother, this woman, this person, had followed me home. I felt it lying there, she was grabbing me. rm: Was she a bad spirit? dc: I don’t know if she was bad, but I was afraid to open my eyes, I felt the presence. I went back to the old woman who led those ceremonies and she gave me a whole lecture on all the things I needed to do to keep this spirit away. rm: So she thought it was a bad spirit, you needed things to ward off evil. dc: Yes. But after all that, I thought, why do I have to this? I don’t see it, if it wants to fight, if it wants to be friends, I didn’t care, I just didn’t want to allow anyone to come into my space, why should I allow these ancestral spirits to come and contact me? If they had something good to tell me, I might listen, but, otherwise, don’t contact me, why do I have to put it up with it? 9/13/13 12:48 AM