Various talk shows such as The Tyra Banks Show have interviews with
former Gay For Pay Models, Check them out on YouTube.
he did enjoy being looked at and
desired by them, as well as by
women.
“Men express their desire
differently than women do,” he
told me, meaning that men were
more sincere and could openly
express their aesthetic appreciation for his body.
Another man at Josh’s
gym offered him $100 to let the
man watch him pose and show
off his muscular physique. Josh
politely said that he was not gay.
The man insisted that nothing
sexual need come from it; he
just wanted to see Josh pose.
Enticed by the money, Josh ultimately agreed. While he posed,
the man watched and complimented him on his good looks.
Over time this man offered
Josh more money if Josh would
let him masturbate while watching Josh. Ultimately he asked if
he could see Josh naked and,
later, if he could perform fellatio
on Josh, with no reciprocation.
For months Josh refused, until
the man started buying him gifts
and giving him even more money. Josh made it clear that he
was not interested in reciprocat
ing in any way and wanted no romantic or emotional ties, that he
was doing this just to earn some
money.
later, if he could perform fellatio
on Josh, with no reciprocation.
For months Josh refused, until
the man started buying him gifts
and giving him even more money. Josh made it clear that he
was not interested in reciprocating in any way and wanted no romantic or emotional ties, that he
was doing this just to earn some
money.
Josh found himself enjoying it more than he thought he
would and appreciated that the
man was interested in Josh’s own
enjoyment. In Josh’s experience,
women merely tolerated fellatio,
though he wanted them to desire
giving it as much as he enjoyed
receiving. Josh was able to talk
dirty to this man and tell him how
he wanted to be serviced. The
man was also willing to swallow,
which increased Josh’s excitement.
In time the man sent other male
friends to Josh; they offered was
not interested in reciprocatJosh
loved was that these men
pursued him and honored the
body he had created. Beyond
appreciating the money he received, he felt desired.
It is important to note that
Josh was not attracted to any of
these men sexually or romantically in any way — and no other man either, for that matter. He
was attracted to women sexually and often said that if he could
find a women to “service him” the
way the men who paid him did,
he would be less inclined to have
men do it.
We also learned that, for
Josh, directing women and guiding them verbally and otherwise
was his way of being in control
of receiving oral sex. He was
aroused by being in charge and
a bit dominant during oral sex.
Knowing this helped Josh recognize the importance of telling
women his sexual interest in taking some control during oral sex.
In fact, Josh was straight
from the start. It is not necessarily the straight men who have sex
with men who have a problem
but everyone who judges them.
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