November Issue 3 | Page 25

Various talk shows such as The Tyra Banks Show have interviews with former Gay For Pay Models, Check them out on YouTube. he did enjoy being looked at and desired by them, as well as by women. “Men express their desire differently than women do,” he told me, meaning that men were more sincere and could openly express their aesthetic appreciation for his body. Another man at Josh’s gym offered him $100 to let the man watch him pose and show off his muscular physique. Josh politely said that he was not gay. The man insisted that nothing sexual need come from it; he just wanted to see Josh pose. Enticed by the money, Josh ultimately agreed. While he posed, the man watched and complimented him on his good looks. Over time this man offered Josh more money if Josh would let him masturbate while watching Josh. Ultimately he asked if he could see Josh naked and, later, if he could perform fellatio on Josh, with no reciprocation. For months Josh refused, until the man started buying him gifts and giving him even more money. Josh made it clear that he was not interested in reciprocat ing in any way and wanted no romantic or emotional ties, that he was doing this just to earn some money. later, if he could perform fellatio on Josh, with no reciprocation. For months Josh refused, until the man started buying him gifts and giving him even more money. Josh made it clear that he was not interested in reciprocating in any way and wanted no romantic or emotional ties, that he was doing this just to earn some money. Josh found himself enjoying it more than he thought he would and appreciated that the man was interested in Josh’s own enjoyment. In Josh’s experience, women merely tolerated fellatio, though he wanted them to desire giving it as much as he enjoyed receiving. Josh was able to talk dirty to this man and tell him how he wanted to be serviced. The man was also willing to swallow, which increased Josh’s excitement. In time the man sent other male friends to Josh; they offered was not interested in reciprocatJosh loved was that these men pursued him and honored the body he had created. Beyond appreciating the money he received, he felt desired. It is important to note that Josh was not attracted to any of these men sexually or romantically in any way — and no other man either, for that matter. He was attracted to women sexually and often said that if he could find a women to “service him” the way the men who paid him did, he would be less inclined to have men do it. We also learned that, for Josh, directing women and guiding them verbally and otherwise was his way of being in control of receiving oral sex. He was aroused by being in charge and a bit dominant during oral sex. Knowing this helped Josh recognize the importance of telling women his sexual interest in taking some control during oral sex. In fact, Josh was straight from the start. It is not necessarily the straight men who have sex with men who have a problem but everyone who judges them. 4GUYS.CA 25