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more I stared at the cold-weather fishing gloves , the less I wanted to get on the water and test my Arctic survival skills .
FINAL WORD
THE SHIVERS
BY ROBERT ROBINSON
I ’ m tired of hunkering in the house , listening to snow and sleet rattle the windows , and now I ’ m running on negative pressure .
Fly boxes are filled , rods repaired , and fly lines and reels cleaned . I start checking weather reports , looking for any break that will get me out there . I mean , I ’ m ready to do some fishing , weather be damned .
Memories of those first cold , miserable days , when I find myself standing on the banks of an icy stream , shivering like I ’ m passing a peach seed , wishing I was back at the house holding
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The
a hot cup of Irish coffee , are long gone . I try not to think about breaking through snow and going in up to my waist .
I pull out the cold weather gear and look through my survival kit . I restock my ruck with Power Bars and instant coffee , and make sure I have three ways to start a fire . I repack the ruck with a camp stove , coffee pot , tin cup , dry socks , and a poncho . I sharpen my K-bar and strap it to the ruck . My leaky waders have been repaired . My buffalo hair watch cap is right where it ’ s supposed to be . Almost good to go : Then I see them , the chink in my armor — cold-weather fishing gloves . A chill runs up my spine .
I found these medieval torture devices on the discount table at a local fly-shop / gas station / bar and grill one summer . They are made of the same space-age material wetsuits utilize — rubber . Actually they call the stuff neoprene , and when I looked it up in the dictionary , to get the spelling right , I discovered Websters had the unmitigated gonads to mention gloves in the definition . But in that August heat , they looked like they ’ d be downright hot to wear . I checked the tag — MADE IN CHINA .
more I stared at the cold-weather fishing gloves , the less I wanted to get on the water and test my Arctic survival skills .
That fall , when I was standing up to my waist in freezing water , wondering how many fingers I was going to lose to frostbite , I had a clear men tal picture of two Chinese men slapping each other on the back and yukking it up on their way to the bank : “ Cold-weather fishing gloves . . . haw , haw , hawwwwwww !”
Designed with anglers in mind , they fit tight , and the thumbs and forefingers can be folded back and held “ out of the way ” with Velcro — to facilitate tying on tippet and flies and stripping
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