a whole new discussion about the film industry and so on until I realized she had been talking for about an hour and I still had nothing down for nocturnal.
However, thanks to my mum being the most chatty person I have ever met (please if you ever come round to my house do not bring up anything to do with English literature, trust me she will talk for hours on end), it sparked an idea. The most ‘valuable object’ my mum has given me is the gift of speech. This is my heirloom. There has never been a subject too awkward, too rude or too personal that I have not been able to share with my mum.
It was this ability to talk and share things that helped me during the last couple of years. I have, as long as I remember, suffered from different forms of anxiety. My anxiety disorder has shaped my life in rather odd ways. From just simply overthinking, to full blown panic attacks at Thekla, to even controlling me to such an extent that I have had to put my shoes on in a particular way. This anxiety disorder has caused me many spells of depression, doctors appointments, embarrassment, medication and even an eating disorder.
Yet talking to my mum about how I was feeling, what was worrying me, what things filled me with dread, helped more than I can put into words. My mum in some way was my therapist, only she prescribed cups of tea and a good gossip. She understood that talking about my mental health was extremely important and looking after it was a priority. She wanted me to take ‘ownership’ of it and not be embarrassed about my illnesses and encouraged me to talk about it. It was this family heirloom of speech that honestly helped me in my own recovery and I cannot thank my mum enough.
1 in 4 people suffer from mental health problems yet we still don’t talk about it enough. This taboo around the subject is only something that prevents someone getting the help they need. Communication is something that brings us all together and helps us form relationships, so why should this stop over the subject of mental health. I urge everyone to pass down the ‘heirloom’ of speech, to reach out and just talk to someone, whether they are struggling or you are. Through my experience of mental health discussion is key in recovery. It helps you to not feel so isolated and trapped in a disorder, and it makes you realise how much people care, and in some circumstances that people have been through what you are going through, it can honestly help save lives.
"THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A SUBJECT TOO AWKWARD, TOO RUDE OR TOO PERSONAL"