NJ Cops Feb2019 | Page 65

A Message about Mental Healthcare Why is it so difficult for first responders to ask for help? First in a three-part series on Mental Well-being Part One: Awareness The purpose of this series is to heighten awareness and promote a willingness and desire to consider making changes; to afford you, the reader, an opportunity to challenge yourself and make a decision to improve the quality of your life. You are the only one who can change; no one can do it for you. Far too often, we wait until our marriages are MICHAEL on the brink of divorce, our careers are in jeop- BIZZARO, ardy and legal consequences are knocking at Ph.D. LCSW our door. Yet for many of us, this often comes as a surprise. Although we may feel like these consequences ap- peared out of the blue, in reality they have been growing in the shadows of darkness, just waiting to corner us. Consider the antidote: honesty. Secrets live in the darkness but die in the light. Find a life coach or therapist, get into treatment or find someone you trust. Call them whatever you want, but find some avenue to free yourself of the bogeyman that is keeping you hostage. Why do we keep our pain a secret? The culture of being a first responder often promotes in- vincibility, honor, integrity and bravery. It frequently frowns upon the idea that one of its own may be depressed, anxious or traumatized and in need of help. Is this belief based on the fear that this can happen to any one of us? Does denial come into play in our unwillingness to consider the possibility that this could one day be you? Countless studies suggest that first responders experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, PTSD and many other psychological and medical issues than the general public. This is in addition to the high rates of divorce, domestic violence and other family-related challenges that first responders experience. We know all this, yet there still remains a barrier to seeking mental health services. Why is that? Have we become a cul- ture that frowns upon and is immune to the consequences of being human? Every minute of every day, someone is either a witness to or victim of some type of tragedy. Many are victims of tragedy, while others are responders to tragedy. Either way, both will be faced with the aftermath of dealing with the hor- rors of trauma. Why do some of us handle it better than others? Denial doesn’t make it go away We often try to convince ourselves that if we don’t speak about it, then it didn’t really happen. Denial is a powerful defense mechanism that is activated to protect us from the depth of the traumatic experience. It is a double-edged sword, in that it allows us to function in the midst of the traumat- ic experience and buries memories deep within our psyche and soul. Reliving those memories without having the skills to manage them when they are re-experienced can cause se- rious consequences. Many of us will blame others and resort to various forms of manipulating the truth to avoid facing the reality of the issue that may be right at our doorstep. Taking responsibility for the obvious consequences in our life takes courage and aware- ness. Awareness without the willingness or desire to change can be painful. Take this challenge You help other people every day. You have designed your life around facing hard things and rescuing those in trouble. You owe it to yourself to face the hard things in your own life, and to be honest about the answers. Ask yourself: • Do I keep disturbing incidents to myself, rather than acknowledging and sharing that I’m scared, or heart- broken, or angry? • Do I drink to change my mood so that I don’t have to look at my pain? • Do I respond with anger to my family, just because I’m in a bad mood? • Do I feel overwhelmed with responsibility at home, with money issues, or with fear for my family? • Have I ever called out because I was too tired or over- whelmed to face another day at work? If you answered yes to these questions, you are not alone. Asking the questions and facing the answers requires bravery. Michael Bizzarro, Ph.D., LCSW is director of clinical services for first responder treatment services at Princeton House Be- havioral Health. He can be reached at 732-771-7165. For ad- ditional information about Princeton House services, call Ken Burkert, peer support specialist, at 908-346-1691 or go to princetonhouse.org/firstresponders. www.njcopsmagazine.com ■ FEBRUARY 2019 65