NJ Cops Aug18 | Page 79

HEALTH & WELLNESS Cops’ kids and standard operating procedures Why is it that when you’re part of a high- profile, seemingly morally and legally righteous profession, your kids are more likely to break the rules and get caught? First of all, they’re not. Cops’ kids are no more likely to screw up than the rest of the teen population. Here’s the thing, though: when they do, it’s often a really big deal — to you, them, the community and maybe CHERIE CASTELLANO even the department. So what do you do when Cop2Cop your kid is on the wrong side of the law or just feels scrutinized more than most? Standard operating procedures are a way of life in law enforcement but parenting does not offer that level of control. Don’t get so wrapped up in saving the world that you 79 NEW JERSEY COPS ■ AUGUST 2018 forget what (and who) is at home. Don’t make the mistake of minimizing your kids’ problems because of the tragedy you see every day at work. “You didn’t make team captain? Big deal. You’ve got a roof over your head, no one is abusing you and you get to watch TV on that flat screen paid for by hard work. Quit your whining.” Many cops could rush to this attitude but this is NOT good parenting. Instead, listen to them and try to put yourself in their shoes. Remember what it was like to be a teenager? Well, it’s a whole lot more difficult now and kids need their parents to listen and help them problem-solve, not tell them how terrible the rest of the world is and how lucky they should feel. Of course we want our kids to be socially aware and have compassion for the less fortunate, but we also need to realize and acknowledge