Chantelle, Rosie
and Daisy’s Story
When Ryan Wynn took his own life two years ago,
his devastated family had no idea where to turn
for support.
Ryan, an ex-army reservist from Tamworth, committed suicide
after struggling with mental health issues following a tour in
Afghanistan. His wife Chantelle and 14-year-old daughter Rosie
found Ryan’s body at the family home. They, along with younger
sister Daisy who was 10, were left traumatised by the loss.
“It was the most horrendous time and I literally didn’t know which
way to turn,” said Chantelle. “I knew I needed to get help for the
girls. I was told it was grief and to leave it six months, but they
needed help for the trauma as well as the grief.”
The family were referred to St Giles’ Phoenix service that
supports families and children, by Daisy’s school. They began
with one-to-one counselling for Rosie, but soon started
bereavement support together. Chantelle said;
“We’d lost the connection between
us when Ryan died. Rosie didn’t
want to be in the house and we
didn’t know how to be together
without him. The Phoenix team
stepped in when we needed it most
and when no-one else would help.”
was the laid back, fun one. Talking it through, I realised I needed
to change that and so I’ve become much more mellow.”
One of the most powerful elements of the family’s journey came
after they shared in one of the sessions that they felt they had lost
the ability to hug and touch each other.
“I think we were all hurting so much that we just went into
ourselves - we really had lost that connection and it was
hurting all of us more,” said Chantelle. “Then we were told that
complementary therapists at the hospice were going to teach us
how to massage each other. We were a bit taken aback!”
“Although we weren’t sure at first,
the therapists showed us how to
reconnect with each other through
head massages and things like that.
We literally rediscovered our ability
to hug through Phoenix. Now we
have a nightly gathering on my bed
when we cuddle and catch up.”
There was a sense of trepidation at the start of the process for
Rosie and Daisy, as neither of the girls knew what to expect.
“I was really worried and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it, but it
really helped,” said Rosie. “Every session, the first thing I would
do was cuddle the massive bear that sits in the family room and
we gave it a different name every week.”
“We did loads of activities to help us remember Dad and talk
about him. It really helped because we would talk about things
and deal with the emotions as they were coming up. It’s better to
get stuff off your chest than keep it in, although we didn’t have to
talk if we didn’t want to.”
The family’s sessions at Phoenix included talking about both the
emotional and practical elements of family life and learning to live
without Ryan.
“The sessions really helped us start to work as a team and think
about how we could support each other, even down to debating
who would walk the dog,” said Chantelle. “We also had to shift
roles in the family because I was always strict Mum and Ryan
01543 432031 I stgileshospice.com I [email protected]
The family worked with the Phoenix team for 18 months and
finished their sessions early in 2017.
“We’re much stronger as a family now because we know that
life is just too short so we focus on making memories,” said
Chantelle. “And we are moving forward – I know there’s still the
chance we could go back but I know that the Phoenix team are
on the end of the phone if we need them and we’re moving in the
right direction.”
To read more about Phoenix and the services we offer, please
visit www.stgileshospice.com/phoenix
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