The Love Languages
of the Lord
Caira Bevan Bongers
(Note: This was a term paper written for the Master of Arts in Religious Studies program
of Bryn Athyn College. Caira received her master’s degree – and a Theta Alpha Award – at
the College commencement on May 30, 2015.)
T
he Lord commands, as is written in Matthew, “You shall love the Lord
your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
mind. This is the first and great commandment.” (Matthew 22:37-38)
Loving the Lord with our whole being is the most vital thing we can do,
and is what makes for a spiritual life. “Spiritual life consists in loving God
above all things and loving one’s neighbor as oneself.” (Arcana Coelestia 8549)
In fact, the word “love” means love to the Lord, as love when regarding the
neighbor is actually called “charity.” (Ibid. 2023) But how do we love the Lord?
How is that love best expressed? Does the Lord have a “love language”?
The concept of love languages was developed and popularized by Dr.
Gary Chapman in his book, The 5 Love Languages. The premise is that people
communicate love or appreciation in varied ways, which can be problematic if
the person expressing love is using a different means of conveying it than the
receiving person appreciates. Dr. Chapman breaks the love language into five
categories:
• Words of Affirmation
• Gifts
• Quality Time
• Touch
• Acts of Service
Different people express love using a variety of these approaches. Some
corporations express appreciation to their employees through bonuses; some
grandparents like to cuddle their grandchildren; nonprofits might use words
of appreciation for their employees when budgets are tight; friends sometime
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