and treat them far better than did most
of the men of the time, He did not
seem to promote marriage or families
in any way.
And then the teachings of Paul
in the non-canonical books of the
New Testament; they are downright
frightening! Marriage is a choice if one
cannot remain celibate. Marriage is
only for those who cannot contain their
animal lust. And women are clearly
presented as subservient to men.
It is no wonder then that when
the Lord was asked whether there was
marriage in heaven, He said they are
neither given in marriage nor received
there, for the conception they had of
marriage in those times simply does
not exist in heaven. The Lord did not teach more because they were not ready
to hear anything more.
Unfortunately, many people still have but a natural concept of marriage.
Some view it simply as a legalized living together, providing for tax and
inheritance purposes. Others identify it with romance or passion. Love is blind:
Samson let down his guard for Delilah. Love is passionate: David jeopardized
his throne for the beautiful Bathsheba. And love is instantaneous: a first-sight
experience as seen in Romeo and Juliet.
However, the danger in equating such romantic ideas with a genuine love
in marriage is that we tend to assume that if we are not at that peak of passion
we really don’t love the other person. The reality is that such passion has a very
limited life span. No one can sustain the “falling in love” state for too long; it
is absolutely exhausting!
So if marriage isn’t simply the romantic passion nor a mere legal contract,
what is it?
In the New Church we are given a vision of what marriage can be. It is
primarily a gift from the Lord. It is not something that we create but rather
something that we receive from the Lord to the extent that we open ourselves
to it. While couples feel that love welling up from within, He is always the
source of that love.
Moreover, it is a spiritual joining of two lives into one. From the wedding
ceremony there is a uniting of the very souls. Then as they interact in marriage
their minds become more and more intertwined. They become one in all things
In the New Church we
are given a vision of
what marriage can be.
It is primarily a gift
from the Lord. It is not
something that we create
but rather something
that we receive from the
Lord to the extent that
we open ourselves to it.
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