When Isaiah was called by the Lord to be His prophet he also lamented
his unworthiness, crying: “Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of
unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for my eyes
have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.” (Isaiah 6:5)
John the Baptist is quoted in all four Gospels as confessing his unworthiness
even to bend down and loosen the Lord’s sandal strap. (John 1:27)
In the Book of Revelation, when the Lord appeared to the Apostle John
in the midst of the seven golden lampstands, John was overcome by holy fear
and a sense of his own unworthiness. He perceived that nothing within him –
nothing living and good – was his own, but that his very life was from the Lord
alone, and “fell at His feet as if dead.” (Revelation 1:17)
Swedenborg, also, when he was called to serve the Lord as the instrument
of the new revelation, had an acute sense of his unworthiness, and cried for the
Lord’s mercy. “I acknowledged that I was impure from head to foot! . . . I found
myself unworthy of all the grace which God deigned to show me, because with
me the love of self and the pride were so deeply rooted.” He also noted that “it
is not enough to call oneself unworthy, for this may be done while yet the heart
is far from it, and it may be pretense, but to perceive that one is such, this is of
the grace of the Spirit.” (Journal of Dreams n. 85, 272, 74)
To perceive that we are unworthy is more than an intellectual
acknowledgment, sincere as it may be, but implies a deep feeling of our
unworthiness. It is not a happy feeling, but it is a hopeful sign because it
prepares the way for genuine, whole-hearted worship of the Lord -- and that is
the most exalted and joyful of feelings. (See Apocalypse Revealed 275)
How can we see and be affected by the beauty and perfection of the Lord,
without at the same time seeing and feeling what flawed and wretched creatures
we are? “Unprofitable servants.” The same light of truth that reveals how small
and shabby we are, also opens our eyes to the infinite goodness and beauty of
the Lord, and how gracious and merciful He has been toward us – and that is
a joyful thing to contemplate.
(WEO)
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