My reaction was
that this book (True
Christian Religion)
is worth more to
me than its weight
in gold. I felt that
I had discovered
a great treasure,
something kept
secret from many.
up on this person when I had access to a
bigger library. Around this time I had also
started to keep a journal of dreams. In one
dream, I had asked God just to show me
what was the real truth. I was in darkness,
and a door began to open. Behind the
door a tremendous light was beginning to
shine through, and behind that, I felt, was
heaven. But just as the door began to open,
I awoke.
I began to question myself: with all
the divisions within the Christian Church,
where is the “one true” church? Why in
the past two millennia has there been no
revelation? A trinity of three persons was
an obvious error. And the thought came to
me: all people assume that the religion they were born in is the one truth, and
they do not question it.
So I decided not to make that assumption. Instead, I decided to assume
that most everything I knew was false, and to search for the truth wherever it
led me. It led to me leaving the church, and several years of searching, and there
were many, many dead ends and disappointments. I was no longer willing to
box my mind in with teachings for which we did not know the validity.
This is a hard step to take: we all like to think we know everything, that we
are always right. Few will take the step that what they know or believe might be
wrong – a willingness to admit that what we know or do is wrong is distressful.
But it is a necessary step in order to reach the truth. To a certain extent, I would
say it is always healthy to maintain a certain sense of agnosticism and not be so
fixed on a particular mindset.
This uncertain search continued until the day I was in a university library
and remembered that reference to Swedenborg. I decided to look him up and
pick up his book. To my amazement, the list of books went on for several pages
in the library catalog. One, True Christian Religion, was readily available so I
decided to pick that one up and start reading it.
I thought, for sure, as with many New Age religions, that Swedenborg was
going to say that Jesus Christ was just a “good teacher” of some sort. Once he
made that error I was going to close that book. To my surprise, not only did he
declare that Jesus was Jehovah in human form, but he also solved the problem
of the Trinity.
I was totally shocked. It is very hard for me to describe that moment, for
a great weight had been lifted. There was also sadness, because for many years
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