New Church Life July/Aug 2013 | Page 75

Beyond Marriage, Money and Mortgages: Pursuing Meaningful Connections with Young and New People Bronwen M. Henry W ith tears in her eyes, the young woman standing in front of me described how uncomfortable she is when she goes to church. She has gone to church her whole life, and recently relocated to a larger congregation. When she shows up she feels that people either awkwardly avoid her, leaving her standing alone, or they ask who she is related to, who she is married to, or if she is planning to have children. My heartstrings are tugged even further as she describes how this leaves her feeling – lonely, isolated, not good enough, and certainly not wanting to come back. She is a vibrant 24-year-old, but when she goes to church she suddenly loses her confidence and pizzazz, and is filled with self-doubt instead. With her story in mind, I recently heard a presentation by blogger and author, Carol Howard Merritt. She spoke of the (not so) subtle message young people can get at church – that when you are ma