new church life: jan uary/february 2015
is the love of my wisdom, and I am the wisdom of her love. Her love outwardly
clothes my wisdom, and my wisdom is inwardly within her love. Consequently, as
you have said, the unity of our souls appears in our faces.” (Conjugial Love 75.5)
It is through women, and only women, that the love that unites a man
and a woman in a spiritual marriage comes into the world and is able to be
received by men. “There is no conjugial love with the male sex; it is with the
female sex alone, and from this sex is transferred into the male.” (Conjugial Love
223)
When a woman’s love is joined to the truth acquired by a man, it is
like when warmth is added to the light of the sun falling on the earth in
springtime, and the trees leaf out and flower and bring forth fruit. Truth is
thus converted into the wisdom of life. In this way, she saves him from the
egotism of attributing to himself whatever intelligence he may have acquired
– in which case the very truth that constitutes male wisdom would be spoiled
by the insanity of self-intelligence. In the words of an angel wife:
We women come by birth into a love for the intelligence of men. If men themselves
love their own intelligence, it cannot be united with its proper true love which is
found in a wife; and then his intelligence becomes irrational a s a result of conceit,
and conjugial love in him turns cold. Now what woman can unite her love to a love
that is cold? And what man can unite the irrationality of his conceit to a love for
intelligence? (Conjugial Love 331.2)
The essence of masculinity is a love of truth, and the intelligence and
wisdom formed by truth. The essence of femininity is to love the intelligence
and wisdom in a man, to embrace it, enwrap it in love, nurture it, and help
him bring it forth into the uses of life.
But if there is no love of truth, no real intelligence or wisdom, to be found
in men – or if what they really love is just their own cleverness – what is there
in them, really, for women to love? “What woman can unite her love to a love
that is cold?”
With that in mind, consider how masculinity is viewed in our culture
today. Is it defined as loving truth and seeking wisdom? No, that would
be “sexist.” Instead, masculine behavior, especially as portrayed in popular
entertainment aimed at young men, is associated with vanity, egotism, ruthless
ambition, irresponsibility, childishness, lack of respect for women, grossness
and violence. What is there in this for women to love? And in so far as men
actually conform to this popular caricature of manhood, what is there in them
to love women, beyond physical desire?
The popular portrayal of women today is not much better. There seems
to be an idea that achieving “equality,” “liberation” and the “empowerment”
of women means speaking and acting like men – and not necessarily men at
their best. What does womanliness or femininity even mean in an age that
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