new church life: jan uary/february 2015
a virtue, but masculinity and femininity, as developed spiritual qualities, are.
We’ll begin with masculinity, since the very word “virtue” refers to it. As
students of the Writings well know, there are two Latin words for “man”: homo,
the collective term referring to humans of both sexes (as in homo sapiens);
and vir, meaning a person of the male sex. The word “virtue” comes from that
second Latin word, vir. This is because virtues do not come naturally or easily
to us; to acquire them we have to fight against our own baser instincts. The
weapons we need for this combat are truths; and the essence of masculinity is a
love of truth.
The truth of this is reflected even in the male body, since the physical
attributes of men and women correspond to the inner, spiritual nature of each
sex.
Because interiors form exteriors after their own likeness, and the masculine form
is the form of the understanding, and the feminine is the form of the love of that
understanding, it follows that the male has a face, voice, and body different from
the female: a sterner face, a rougher voice, a stronger body, and a bearded chin – in
general, a form less beautiful than the female. They differ also in their attitudes and
their ways. In a word, nothing whatever in them is alike. And yet, in every single
part of them there is a capacity for being joined together into a one.
(Conjugial Love 33)
Woman’s contribution to their mutual union is, in a word, love –
specifically, love of the wisdom that forms the essence of masculinity, which
she especially seeks in one man whose particular form of wisdom most
perfectly complements the quality of love that forms her soul.
“Masculine love is the love of becoming wise. Feminine love is to love that
love of becoming wise in the male.” (Conjugial Love 382)
Women are so formed that the will or love reigns in them more than the
understanding, while with men the understanding or reasoning plays the lead
role. In each case, “every one of their fibers runs in that direction, and it is their
very nature. Consequently the marriage of the two sexes is like that of the will
and the understanding in the individual.” (Arcana Coelestia 568.2)
Of course, men also have a will; they love and feel affection. And women
also have an understanding; they think and reason. The difference between the
sexes is in which predominates and is the “default” faculty the person trusts
and relies on the most. For men it is reason; for women, the perception love
gives them.
Obviously there is infinite variety among people and how their minds
work. It is foolish to reduce men and women to caricatures of maleness and
femaleness.
The world around us, while deriding the stereotypes of the past, has
created new stereotypes of male and female, which are even more unreal and
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