THE
OF CLIENT
RETENTION:
DEVELOP NINJA LISTENING SKILLS
By practising the art of active listening you can truly
hear what your clients are telling you – and respond in a
manner that rewards you both.
WORDS: KATE SWANN & KRISTINA MAMROT
In this series on client retention, psychologists Kate Swann and Kristina Mamrot
provide unique insights into what makes your clients tick, and how to keep them
coming back week after week, month after month, year after year.
n the first article in this series, we
discussed the importance of
using empathy to engage and
connect with your clients. In a nutshell: when
you feel sympathy for someone, you feel
sorry for them – whereas when you feel
empathy, you take time to think about what’s
going on for your client, you listen hard, and
you walk a mile in their shoes.
Listening – and listening well – is a skill.
Some people are born with it (they’re the
ones you go to when you need to talk), but
most people need to develop or hone their
active listening skills.
Why do we call it active listening?
Because you don’t just sit there while the
client is talking, thinking about what you’re
going to have for lunch, or working out
what you’re going to say as soon as they’re
finished.
When you listen actively, you work hard
to stay present. You slide your own thoughts
I
to one side, and focus on what the client is
saying. It’s surprisingly hard work.
The good, the bad and…
Here’s the difference between good listeners
and bad listeners. As you read the list, think
about a person you know who ticks the
boxes on the bad listener list.
Bad listeners:
• Interrupt or change the subject
• Speak over you
• Are chronic problem solvers or advice
givers
• Shift their body around impatiently or
can’t hold eye contact
• Finish your sentences
• Hijack your point by saying ‘Yes! That
happened to me! I remember when…’
Does a bad listener you know come to mind?
Think about what it’s like when you talk to
that person, and how you feel. You’re likely
to feel that they don’t really understand you
Active listening allows you to get an accurate picture of
the challenges and frustrations your clients face
or know what’s going on for you. You may
feel shut down, or dismissed.
Not a very nice feeling, especially if that
person is someone important to you.
Now let’s take a look at the characteristics
of good listeners. Good listeners:
• Are patient and don’t jump in when
you’re pausing to think
• Don’t interrupt
• Give their full attention, including eye
contact and posture
• Let you know they follow what you are
saying by nodding in agreement or
asking you to clarify something
• Don’t judge or criticise
• Don’t relate everything you say to their
own personal experience
• Are genuinely curious about what’s
going on for you.
Empathy and active listening are the golden
rules of client engagement. In order to truly
connect to your client and give them a
reason to attend your sessions – even when
life’s stresses get in the way – you need to
understand their world from their perspective
(empathy), and let them know you’ve heard
and understood (active listening).
Let’s compare
Here’s an example. Beth is a 42-yearold accountant working full time with two
NETWORK AUTUMN 2015 | 47