Naleighna Kai's Literary Cafe Magazine November Edition | Page 9

so, those things must be ironed out and addressed
before marriage or any broom jumping. I will add
that in every marriage there is compromise and we
learn to live harmoniously with those compromises.
The next battleground in our marriage was my
mom sending me things. About once a month she
would send a care package. Usually vintage clothing
she found at a thrift shop because I loved those
types of things. Also, it wasn’t beyond her to slip in a
couple of twenties.
The clothing was spread out on our single bed
when he arrived home, and he did that nose flare
thing he does when he’s annoyed. Leaning over, he
kissed my neck before asking what else mom sent.
“She sent four shirts for you also.”
That was my mom. She never sent me anything
without including something for my husband. Ever.
“Did she send money?” he asked.
“Yes, two twenties. Why does that bother you?” I
asked, dropping down on the bed.
“It’s like she doesn’t think I can take care of you...”
“That’s not even my mom, at all,” I replied. “Mama
knows I can take care of me and I wouldn’t be in an
uncared for situation.”
“That’s just the thing. All of you Vernon women
are so independent.” It was time for my nose to
flare then. That pissed me off. He knew I was about
earning money long before we married.
“We had to be,” I responded. “My mom and aunts
are either widowed, divorced, or never married.”
“You came out here with all the money I sent you.
It’s like you didn’t trust me to provide for you.”
Truthfully, I was stunned. Literally. That never
crossed my mind, but to be honest, neither had
anyone taking care of me. Summer had set in, and
I planned to take graduate courses in the fall and
work part-time. Playing house for a couple of months
would be nice.
“That’s in your mind,” I said. “I never thought that
and neither did my mom. My family is like that. We
look out for each other. I’m not going to offend mom,
and just for the record, I didn’t ask her. It’s who she is!
But you wouldn’t know that would you? Your people
call and talk to you. They also sent that big ass box for
your birthday last month filled with clothes, snacks
only you eat, all without a “how do you do’ to me.”
Something flickered on his face, and I knew part
of him was embarrassed by that observation, and
perhaps my mom’s generosity showed that up.
Grabbing me, he pulled me down on the bed,
covering me with his body.
“I’m sad huh,” he admitted. “Jealous of your mama...”
“Pitiful,” I said before biting his bottom lip, hard.
* * *
When we moved to Germany in 1980, we had an
infant and Mister was in training a great deal of the
time. I was chomping at the bit to get my career in
gear, but he decided we wouldn’t live in government
quarters because there was more money to be made
living on the economy because the rate of exchange
was so low. That was true, but I felt it was a micro
aggressive way to get me not to work because we
had a small child. I didn’t have an international
driver’s license, and we were twenty kilometers from
the Army post. Everything on post was a ten-minute
walk but again, his military career, his choice.
After a few months of not working, I started
catching the train into the Army post with my baby
bundled up. Volunteering as a community drug and
alcohol counselor filled my days. They provided
childcare and I loved it. Mister didn’t seem bothered
by that, but when they offered employment full-
time at the medical facility, he felt some kind of way.
The initial argument was the baby was too young,
then the transportation thing, but I was determined
to work. Having (my own money and something
else that was useful to do) was important to me and
my kid. I was a better mom when employed rather
than sitting at home, and I knew that. Being at home
all day wasn’t natural to me and as much as I loved
mothering, having an outlet other than my child
benefited both of us.
During that two-year time span, things became
tense between us at times. Mister’s jealousy was on
“full” because most of the clients were male soldiers
and he had an attractive wife that made men sit up
and take notice. The two guys who worked closely
NKLC Magazine | 9