Naleighna Kai's Literary Cafe Magazine NK Literary Cafe Magazine - April 2018 Issue | Page 56

Unshackled
I completed my first manuscript and became a
homeowner six months before I turned 50 in 2010.
When my birthday came around that December,
my beautiful daughters surprised me with a party
attended by family, friends and co-workers. I’d
accomplished so much over those last two years.
Everyone was proud to see me come out on the
other side because a lot of them knew what I had
gone through and were amazed to see this new
and improved woman before them. The moment I
walked in, it was a very surreal feeling. The smiles,
applause, I didn’t know so many people cared
about me. My cake was designed as a book with
the title of what would be my first published work,
To Begin Again.
56 | NKLC Magazine
Christine Pauls
Christine Pauls
The story is based on real life events of my strict,
religious upbringing, teen pregnancy, young adult
years as a single mother, the estrangement between
me and the aunt who raised me, as well as the
brutality that I experienced from a sexual assault. I
have to admit, it took me some years to come to
the realization that I was worthy. Toxic relationships
and trauma had me in its grip. I didn’t believe that
I deserved any good thing like a home of my own,
a better paying job, a nice car to drive, good credit,
travel… becoming an author.
Listen, there were plenty of times over the years
that I didn’t give God a second thought. I didn’t
pray; I silenced the voice I used to lift up in song,
whether with the choir, solo, or at weddings.
I allowed the enemy to label me as a broken,