Naleighna Kai's Literary Cafe Magazine NK LCM February 2018 Anniversary Issue | Page 59

four daughters it’s safe to say my grandfather didn’t
play when it came to their safety.
Back in the day, courting wasn’t an option for boys.
Young men would walk up to the doors so nervous
that their Sunday-go-to-meeting suit was already
drenched in sweat by the time they arrived. The
uncles and fathers would drill the young men with
questions such as: “What are your intentions with my
daughter? Do you work? You plan to have her home
by this time, right? Parents took the time to get to
know the boys and their families. They had to know
who their parents are, who their grandparents were.
If the boy was scared but still brave enough to date
the girl, the older men assumed you were worthy.
Most of these questions were just a way to rankle the
youngsters. More than likely the older men already
knew the answers.
Before the young men came around, members
of the family would have conducted their own
investigation, probably guided by “answers” the
women had extracted from the young girls in
question. The “grilling” or “interrogation” was simply
to gauge the young men for themselves and “shore
him up” with what others had said about him.
Sometimes those interactions took place with a
shotgun, rifle, or pistol in plain sight serving as a
warning for any youngsters thinking of getting out of
line. Unfortunately, sometimes hormones overruled
fear and common sense as many young men who
ended up on the wrong side of the casket can attest
to (or not since they are no longer breathing).
to a conclusion that was not all about wet ass and a
slick dick. Years later, courting is almost extinct and
replaced with hook-ups, set-ups, speed dating, and
even speedy marriages that end in costly and painful
divorces, and children growing up way to fast.
Recently a video clip hit social media for an
upcoming movie. A rapper-turned-actor plays a
father who brings a dating prospect into a garage
full of muscled men who are glaring at the young
man as if he’s about to commit a crime. The message
the father gives the youngster is, “I’ve been the one
who’s protecting my daughter all this time. Now, I
guess I have to put it in your hands.” The young man
scans the room and sees about fifteen men-Black,
Latino, and White-all with their game faces on to
make a point. The father claps a hand on the young
man’s back and ushers him out of the garage. When
the father returns to the garage, they all break out
in rowdy laughter. Trust me the youngster taking the
daughter to the prom got the message. And if he
didn’t, the father and his friends will show him that
his actions are no laughing matter.
We need more of this and it will mean less domestic
violence cases. Fewer calls to the emergency room
for our young girls who have been raped and beaten.
And fewer calls to come and identify a loved one who
has been murdered because no one took the time
for a background check. Women take your time in
allowing a man to know you intimately or before
bringing them into your lives and your children’s lives.
First and foremost, learn to love and respect yourself.
Gone are the years of courtships where not only did
the couple take time to find out how compatible they
were, but the entire family took part in “guiding” it
Anita L. Roseboro, a native of North Carolina has a BS in Management Information
Systems and a Master’s Degree in Business Administration. She is a passionate advocate
for children and the cultivation of their minds in that they become productive members
of society. Currently, she is pursuing her life-long dream of writing.
NKLC Magazine | 59