Naleighna Kai's Literary Cafe Magazine May - Mother's Day Issue | Page 43

“I ain’t going to be here
forever.”
Of all the things my mother has ever
said to me, this is the one statement that
she’s made that has always stood out to
me in big, fluorescent, flashing letters.
It means, in essence, that I’d better learn
how to take care of myself because she
wasn’t always going to be here to do it.
My mom hates the Internet. She hates
that my sisters and I have ever posted
pictures of her on Facebook. She hates for
us to mention her name on the Internet.
She’s in her seventies, you see, and she
doesn’t embrace this technology. So, if
she ever gets wind of this article, she’ll
probably be mad at me, but it won’t be
the first time or the last, and when it’s all
said and done, we’ll laugh about it and
even though she’ll never admit it, I like to
think that maybe she’ll feel a little proud.
I’ve never been as close to her as my
other siblings. There have been times
when we have just not seen eye to eye
on things because I’m more like my
dad, her ex-husband, and I think that
that’s a testament to why she divorced
him. But I also think that’s what makes
our relationship so incredible. We
challenge each other. She’s a practical
woman, responsible and reasonable. I’m
the flighty one in the family, careless,
whimsical, and impulsive. But despite
our differences, it’s her words that have
always resonated the most with me.
“I ain’t going to be here forever.”
My mother, like so many black
mothers, especially from her generation,
has always been strong. Wonder Woman
strong, possessing the kind of power
and grace and determination that defies
logic and gravity and all that. Even as a
kid I marveled at her superpowers and
held her up as an example as the kind
of woman I wanted to be, independent,
driven, and focused. But, like I said,
I’m more like my dad, so yeah, we’ve
bumped head through the years because
of she’s oil and I’m water.
Girls study their mothers. I’ve studied
mine. Most girls idolize their mothers.
I’ve idolized mine; my no-nonsense,
direct, do-as-I-say, 5’3” ‘Lil’ Ma’”. She’s a
goddess to me and because of her, I began
the task to finding my independence
and self-sufficiency because of this
lesson that she taught me. Some folks
reading this might find this harsh, but
to me, it’s the most unselfish and loving
thing a mother can do for her children.
“I ain’t going to be here forever.”
This statement was a testament to
her mortality. Children believe that
parents are invincible, eternal, and
indestructible. She was teaching me that
she was none of those things. And it
was her way of preparing me for coming
to terms with the fact that one day, she
would move on from this life, as we all
do. It was affirmation to me that while