Naleighna Kai's Literary Cafe Magazine Father's Day Issue | Page 26

Black Fathers Matter Shakir Rashaan Being a father isn’t easy. Before you begin to bring out the pitchforks, hear me out. Here’s what I mean when I say what I’m saying. You’re expected to be the cornerstone, the example of manhood that your son establishes himself by, the standard by which your daughter measures any man that tries to come into her life. Sometimes you get it right, sometimes you fall short. When your children finally reach adulthood, and they begin to reach those pinnacles of success that you envisioned for them long ago, the two words that come out of their mouths when the acceptance speech begins are “Thanks, mom.” Now that I’ve gotten my moment of levity out of the way, the crux of my sentiment is clear. When you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, sometimes you don’t get the recognition, and a lot of the times, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Which is why I say that being a father isn’t easy. Being a Black father? Man, listen. So, what I’m going to do with this moment in time is recognize those men around me who I set my standards by growing up, and the men who I’m proud to say have been, and continue to be, what it takes to be the type of father that are celebrated on television shows throughout the generations. My grandfather was the one who turned me on to writing when I was five years old. He taught me how to handle a car, how to maintain it properly and what it was to do your best to maintain your decorum and professionalism regardless of how 26 | NKLC Magazine off-key the other person in the situation may be. Even though he’s passed on, his voice rings in my ears, balancing me when I feel like I’m off the beaten path. My father, whose namesake I share, was the one whose mannerisms I mimicked when I was a teenager. Everything from the voice inflections to his signature, he was the one who showed me what swagger was all about. He was gregarious, never met a stranger, and would talk your ear off if you give him the chance. He was the one who, through his actions with my mother, showed me how to treat my Beloved when she finally came into my life. My uncle, who taught me the value of putting your mind to work in a variety of ways. Though we don’t share similar views with regard to faith and spirituality, his strength of faith is one that I admire and have mimicked in my own manner. He has influenced on me in ways that I’ve reminded him over the years, and he continues to do so to this day, especially when I became a stepfather. I leaned on his advice and he was there every step of the way until my son enlisted into the Army. My chosen brethren, who have left as much of a mark on me as I have on each of them. In total, there are eight, each of them showing me in their own ways how a father should look. There’s a cliché that states, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” I am happy to say that each one of them has the ability to teach and learn on any given day, and