HOW TO GAUGE WHEN IT’S RIGHT TO LEND A HAND
By Tricia Drevets There’s a dance we do as parents as we try to balance what we need to do for our children with what they need to do by themselves. The process starts in babyhood and becomes a lifelong challenge. This time of year, we dance around the homework issue with our offspring. How involved should we be? When should we leave it up to them to get assignments in on time? How much is too much involvement? How much is too little? The answers to these questions are very individualized, but there are some ground rules to think about when deciding when it’s right to help your son or daughter with homework. First, let’s take a look at why homework is important for your child. Let’s face it – classroom time is seldom long enough for kids to fully “get” a new subject or concept. With some extra time at home reviewing that day’s lesson and working on that new skill set, however, your child can be ready to move on in the subject matter with understanding and confidence. Communicate with your child’s teacher. By being informed on your child’s teacher’s homework policies, you can help your child get started on the right foot this school year. Ask the teacher about her expectations and guidelines and ask her to let you know if your child falls short in any area. 32 – My School Rocks! | September 2013 Inquire about teacher and/or school guidelines on parental involvement. Some teachers have assignments that specifically limit parental involvement, while others encourage it. You won’t know which is which, unless you ask. Next, find a comfortable, well-lit place in your home for your child to work and study. Sure, a bedroom desk is great, but kids usually do just fine at the kitchen table. Have supplies such as pencils and sharpeners, pens, paper, markers, scissors, glue readily available so that you don’t time waste time hunting for them. Assist your child in setting a regular time for homework to be done. The schedule depends on your family and other activities that are going on. For many children, it works well to do homework after dinner and before any electronic devices are turned on. Set a good example by reading or doing some paperwork yourself during this time period. If you are quietly working near your child, it helps to create a learning atmosphere. Help your child stay organized. Does your young student need an assignment book to help keep track of deadlines? How about an assignment chart on the refrigerator or kitchen bulletin board? Would folders or binders help corral materials or handouts? Another part of getting organized is to limit distractions. Turn off the TV, the smart phone and the laptop unless they are needed for the assignment at hand. Some kids work best with music playing, while others can’t focus while it is on. Talk with your child about what is best for your family. Remember, your role is to provide guidance, not to do the work. While teachers agree it is not good when students don’t turn in their assignments, they also agree that it is much worse to receive work that has obviously been completed by a parent. If you do your child’s assignments for him, you defeat the learning process. It also will undermine your child’s self-confidence. Here are some more ways you can help your child with homework without overdoing it:
HELPING YOUR CHILD WITH HOMEWORK
instructions carefully so that questions that contain “All of the above” or “Which one is NOT true?” won’t be a stumbling block. • Ask your child about the subject matter. This way, you’ll be able to tell how much he has already learned and have an idea of where some holes are in his grasp of the subject. Having your child explain the assignment to you is a great way to start. Follow up with open-ended questions rather than the “yes” or “no” kind and follow-up with more questions as necessary. • Give praise as much as possible. When your child has done well, let him know it! If there is more work to be done, use an encouraging tone. For example, if your child’s handwriting is poor, don’t say, “This is a mess!” Instead try, “Your information is great, but your teacher may not be able to read this report. Better copy it over.” • Take breaks when needed. When
the going gets tough, the tough can get going on a quick run around the house or yard, or they can do a few sets of jumping jacks. Sometimes a quick break or a switch to another assignment is all that is needed to get back on track when frustration sets in. By following these simple guidelines, your child will know that you are interested and involved in her education. When you are positive about your child’s teacher and
assignments, he will feel more positive too. And -- this is a big one -- don’t feel badly about not knowing the answer to everything your child asks. Have the confidence to say, “I don’t know the answer to that one. Let’s find out together.” It not only shows that it’s okay to make mistakes and to not know everything, but it also empowers children to find answers for themselves.
• Assist your child with studying for a test by giving a written or oral practice test on the subject matter at home. From spelling to science definitions, you can help your child cement information with review questions. Have fun with it by making it into a game show!
• Coach your child on proper test-taking techniques. For example, encourage her to use test time wisely, by skipping and then coming back to troublesome questions. Also make sure your child knows to read
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