Tehničar Br. 20
Zabava
Šaljivi horoskop by Zvonimir Tančinec i Josip Ilić, 3. C
Aries
– You will suffer a skull
fracture due your sudden
compulsion to ram things with
your head. You will be hospitalized for
about a month or so because you tried
to ram a telephone pole because it wasn't
perfectly upward and you HAPPEN to be
obsessed with symmetry. You’ll clear your
head, rethink your life decisions, get a decent
job, maybe start a family but then you’ll see
*GASP* a tipped over book in your book
collection. You will then have a walk ‘round
town and ram the passing pedestrians, get
arrested by the police, sent to the mental
institute and live happily ever after, knowing
you reside in a perfectly symmetrical padded-
room with nobody to ruin it.
Taurus
– You will be given a
red table cloth. Tragedy ensues
although is (thankfully) a short-
term one.
*heh, ged it cuz Taurus = bull. Bull HATE red.
Red bad.
cord as an anchor, shooting people with its
tears until another baby shoots you with ITS
tears. You will die but your baby will RAEG
and kick the other baby’s butt.
*totally NOT stolen from the Binding of Isaac.
Original concept, original characters, original
smart. Do not steel.
Cancer – You will live a
good life. You’ll stay on
good terms with your boss. You
get loadsamoney and everybody will love you
UNTIL SUDDENLY a marry wizard gets really
mad because you gave him the wrong burger.
He CLEARY asked for a McChicken and you
gave him a BigMac. How dare you?! He casts
a terrible curse on you and you turn into a
crab. You scuttle onto the beach and dance
around with your crustacean brethren
because you finally realise your life wasn’t as
great as you though it was. Your whole life
was a LIE. There is no happy life unless you
are a crab. CRAB MASTER RACE.
*what
Leo
Gemini
– You will get a baby
attached to your back. It’ll love you.
It’ll fly around, using its umbilical
– You are suddenly
Leonard DiCaprio. You don’t
win the Oscar.
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