My first Magazine St Joseph's Home_40th Anniversary magazine.compres - Page 19

Silence is golden 7 things not to say to the grieving Don’t Say Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you. Say You have 2 young kids, and you’ll need dinner when you all get home. I’ll cook extra every weekday night next week and drop them off for you all so don’t worry about getting it. Why? Don’t put the onus on the grieving to reach out to you for help. Just get them what they need. Don’t Say Don’t Say Be strong // Keep yourself busy to avoid thinking and crying // Crying won’t help out. I know how you feel Say that they can always find a new partner will just make things worse. Reminding them that they still have a son although they’ve just lost their daughter is just as bad. One cannot possibly replace the other. It is better to let them talk about their loved one who has died. I can only imagine how you feel Why? Your own loved one may have passed on so you feel like you know what the other person is going through. But you’re not her/him and have not had the exact experiences in life so there’s no way you can know how she/he feels. Say It’s ok to cry and let it all Why? Telling them to be strong bypasses the grieving phase that is necessary for them to really move on in life. It rushes them to fit society’s preference for strong characters than crybabies rather than address their immediate need - which is reassurance that it is ok to cry and let it all out. Don’t Say You need to move on Don’t Say They’re in a better place The year is 1985 and St Joseph’s Home is about to receive its first hospice resident.The Sisters quickly made preparations - clearing the rooms, dusting the beds, filling the water jugs. As it turns o