while maintaining the mindset that there’s no way we
had a lot of successes too. Anyone who knows
wouldn’t finish. We bumped into some other fearless
me knows that if I’m a part of a team that loses
Ultra Beasters (James, Maureen, etc.) within a little while
a game, you can bet I’ll be thinking about
it the rest of the night. Analyzing, second
too. We kept saying that they were going to have to kick us
guessing, replaying…you name it. That’s just
off the mountain before we
the way I’m built. I’ll tackle any challenge put
stopped…which is exactly
before me...I always have...regardless of the
what happened. 18 miles in.
outcome. But throughout all the tough losses,
Kicked. Off. The mountain.
the successes, the failures, nothing could
Courtesy of Michael Morris.
prepare me for the DNF at the Ultra Beast.
We tried to bargain our way
To be entirely honest, it’s a week later and I feel
past…asking “what if ” we
like it happened yesterday still. I’ve had dreams
kept running…let us try to get
about it. I’ve talked with people about it. I’ve laid
to Bear Mountain by 9…you
in bed for hours thinking about it. You name
name it. But every effort was
it. It may as well have been my Super Bowl. To
shut down. Within minutes…so
be so close to a monumental life moment and
was my body. So was Michael’s.
lose it. What if I wouldn’t have taken a break
The ten hours of battling the
here? What if I would’ve ran more here? What
mountain, once we slowed down,
if I would’ve done this obstacle this way or
began to sink in. Even more
that way? The questions are typically ongoing.
painful was the fact that we all had
a big fat “DNF”…did not finish.
The craziest part about the entire race
though is how few people understand how
The only solace in the DNF
was the fact that although
“you tried hard,” “at least you didn’t quit,”
we didn’t meet a deadline…
“you should feel special knowing that only
we didn’t quit. But that
384 people were selected,” and I know they all
only satisfies for about two
mean well…and that they truly do care…but all
seconds. The other thousands
those words are relatively hollow at this point.
of seconds of that day and
The irony is that the 100+ complete strangers
following days it could not.
The Aftermath
I really feel about it. Most people give the
that are in the Team Redemption Facebook group
know more of how I feel on the inside
than the closest people in my life.
Truthful ly, I’ve lost a ton of sports games,
As much as I try to describe it, it
including championship games over the years. I’ve
just doesn’t adequately describe it.
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