PARENTING, CHILDREN
AND LAW SCHOOL
acing law school
by: Theresa Rocha Beardall, Hofstra University School of Law
Shana Scott, Loyola University Chicago School of Law
If you can be a parent, then you can handle law school. 1 However, whether you are entering law school as a parent or made the decision to start a family while a law student, there are many things to consider in order to make this experience a positive one! You will be pressed for study time, money, energy, and personal sanity in ways that many of your classmates might never experience. Some colleagues will be extraordinarily supportive; build strong and lasting friendships with these individuals. Other people may be unable to understand why you have chosen this path for yourself or even question your dedication to your education. Brush this off. A little negativity does not have to impact the life goals you have worked so hard to set into motion! Plus, there is nothing like coming home after a long day and spending quality time with the love and hugs of your little one!
Whatever your situation is, here are some important points to consider when making the lifestyle transition as a “Law School Parent”:
Creating a Structure for You and Your Family 2
Stability and consistency are important for growing families. Parents and children both appreciate the confidence in knowing what is expected of them in the family unit. Weekly traditions can be tailored to fit your family needs. Struggling to find a tradition idea? Think back to life before law school. What kinds of activities have you shared in the past and really enjoy?
Two really great ideas to try out include a weekly movie night and a weekly trip to the library. Both can be made fun for children of all ages. In addition, both provide great opportunities to spend lots of quality time with your little ones instead of lots of dollars! Set these traditions to the same day and time of the week, considering what works best for you. Invite your children to read to you or play an educational game together at the library and serve some delicious popcorn and fruits for the movie!
Rotating Weekly Menus with a “Kid Food” Night
Now before you go thinking, “How boring it
Rotating Weekly Menus with a “Kid Food” Night
Now before you go thinking, “How boring it will be to eat the same thing over and over again,” consider the amount of time cooking, planning, and shopping you will save if you create a menu that is delicious for every member of the family! This also goes well with creating stability and consistency. As a law student, you know that time is ESSENTIAL. And so is sleep. A weekly menu, set in advance, can easily buy you both extra time and sleep. Now that’s a win-win in our book!
First, map out a month’s worth of meals. We choose to create a weekly menu and rotate that four times while others opt to choose a new item for every day of the month. Around here, pizza night is every Friday, which was chosen by our kids. A salad can be easily prepped in under 10 minutes or a fresh fruit sliced as an excellent side. Lots of time is saved at the end of what is usually a long week, and the plus is that your kiddos get to choose dinner once a week. Once you have chosen a weekly or monthly menu, utilize a document that can be saved to your desktop. This will be your list of “must buy items” for your shopping trips, helping you to get in and get out with exactly what you need!
Utilize a Weekly Chore Chart
Trust us, this can be done! You will have to let go a little though. Meaning, chores are often accomplished best when children have been taught how to appropriately complete a task. Choose three manageable tasks that need to be completed and have your child post them up in an easy to read, eye-level space that serve as their reminder. Chores will vary from child to child but can begin for kiddos of all ages with a step-by-step instruction on how a task should be completed. If it is a bed made and laundry picked up that you want accomplished, show your child exactly where and how this needs to be done. Be sure and model these behaviors too. Children learn best from our habits!
And don’t forget to raise, praise, praise. Yourself and them! You will be pressed for time and the time you put into creating these systems can build confidence in your little ones and relieve time related anxiety from you too! The ability to delegate tasks is a great skill inside the home and inside the workplace too.
time and the time you put into creating these systems can build confidence in your little ones and relieve time related anxiety from you too! The ability to delegate tasks is a great skill inside the home and inside the workplace too.
Have Confidence in Yourself
Our best advice is as follows: ignore what everyone else is doing/saying and just do your best, have confidence in your academic and parenting abilities, take time out for yourself and for your spouse, routinize and organize, do as much ahead of time as you can, and keep yourself healthy. Remember, at the end, everyone graduates a lawyer, you WILL make it and you are NOT alone.
Put Your Child/Children First
Always be clear about your priorities when making choices. If you had children prior to starting law school, think about the commitments you made then, how involved you were in your children's school and athletics. Sometimes this may mean that you have to miss an event, or possibly class time. However, professors are understanding and if given advanced notice, they are always very supportive and understanding.
You can also find other people with children that you can exchange information with and possibly study alongside. Those friendships have two additional benefits from my childless friends. One, we were able to exchange children, allowing each of us to have a break. Two, we were also able to make play dates where we studied together and the children enjoyed themselves.
Creating Partnerships and Community for Your Family
In addition to finding time to balance your life as a parent and student, it is essential for law school families of all kinds to forge strong partnerships within their community. Cultural activities, extra-curricular activities, and time spent with loving family and friends all contribute to an enhanced quality of life for law school families. But where do you find these important people and spaces? And how do you budget time and energy for a new host of meetings and obligations?
Organize Your Academic Life First
Want to enjoy your time with your family and community? Awesome. We do too, but if you are anything like us, it is critical that you stay on top of your academic obligations first so that your mind can focus on the quality time you have budgeted into your week.
Yellow:
#CA9753
Purple:
#61365E