MotorPunk October 2013 | Page 13

Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas Pt.1 | large, stocked with every bit of yee-ha attire you can imagine. A hands-on fifty something female shop assistant (Cowgirl? Cow-woman? Cow-cougar?) showed us around. Saddles, shirts, jeans, boots, spurs and lots of hats. The Norwegian tried on most of the hats and insisted on me appraising every single one for style, fit and “American dream-ness”, before buying one. I think he already has a gun at home. And then off to the airport in our economy saloon car, Norwegian in his hat, me in the only pair of jeans I own, looking like a pair of rejects from a Brokeback Mountain casting couch. Houston to LAX airport. Two hours lost (gained?) and humidity. For not very much money Hertz will rent you a Mustang. Mine was a white Cabriolet, a V6 engine mated to an automatic gearbox that sounded (I imagine) like the Cow-Cougar woman having an oversquare poo. Exiting the airport we got a bit disorientated and drove through a suburb called Compton, which I recall from the an NWA track “Straight outta [sic] Compton” which includes the lyrics “crazy mother*****r named Ice Cube”. Mr Cube should call NHS direct; they can do wonders for those suffering with mental health issues, I’m told. I put the roof up. Happily we never got to meet Mr Cube or any of his ilk, and went up the coast and listened to someone talk about their wonky oil rig instead. Then, to an English Pub for bottled 13