I gunned up the Varadero and with a wave to Ivan, the Ukrainian guard I rode across the silly little tarmac strip of no man’s land to the Polish border. As I said it was empty and there are two stop signs on the ground. One by the Ukraine side and the other by the Polish side, for lining up and keeping order. With no one there I rode past the first stop and to the Polish stop to wait to be called to the kiosk.
A middle-aged guy in olive green came out of a small office/hut at the side and waved frantically ‘go back!’. I look behind me at the 10 metres to the Ukrainian stop on the floor. “There is no one here” I called back and with a frown, he shouted, “YOU GO BACK”. "Why?" I said, there was no one there! It was obvious that he needed something to aid his erectile dysfunction and it was going to be ordering me back 10 meters like some manic football ref. So I went back 10m but the front tyre was on the line, I kid you not, he came over again “BACK!” with a pointy little finger. He’d pissed me off and I rolled the bike back 3 inches and barked back at him “GET OUT OF NO MAN’S LAND” pointing at the ground “NOT POLAND!” the Ukrainian guard came out of his kiosk at this and lifted his chin, that was above a more than ample tree trunk for a neck and the Polish Guard went back to Poland.
This was getting stupid and the Polish guard then speaks to the girl in the kiosk and she drops her head and walks over to the office. The Guard with a broad grin shouts across the 10m “SHE GO FOR HER LUNCH NOW, YOU WAIT”.
Yes, I could have just ridden back and waited and placated the little turd and often that is what I do, he just caught me on an off day and I didn’t feel like taking his strutting and shouting bullshit. So I sit there and read a book, calming down and the fact that I’m in no rush to get anywhere is a great help. I was giving serious consideration to riding south and coming back into Europe via Slovakia. But I was now getting pig headed and after 3 hours I get waved from the Polish side.
I walked to my top box and got out a baguette and some brie sat on the floor with my book and waved him away casually as I called “MY LUNCH”. I heard a loud bellow of a laugh from behind me, it was the Ukranian guard and looking over at Poland even the girl in the kiosk gave a chuckle.
I did get through in the end and it could of all been avoided many times over by him not being a wanker and me ignoring his first expression of wankerism – but I didn’t and that stubborn brie baguette tasted damn good I have to admit.
Now, this is just an example of how uniforms can impact people and you should not be concerned about Poland, amazingly warm and considerate people that want to help you as much as they can – just that one wanker on that one day. I could have avoided it all by saying sorry and rolling back, I know.
In contrast, I have no issue with third world "corruption", as it is called. Riding around Indonesia for a year I got this many times and it was always pleasant – “you want quick paperwork?” asked with a smile. The guy works for $30 a month people! I see a $10 drop as nothing more than a tip for working in the hot sun for peanuts. I’ll have a chat about Indonesia next time, now here is Norman Magowan and his experience with Government lead complications.