MOST Magazine Fitness APR-MAY'15 ISSUE NO.1 - Page 110

TROY BYER By: Darcy Tharp “In order to ‘not lose yourself’ it is important to participate in activities that we personally enjoy – with or without our partner’s involvement. It’s also important to simply have alone time.” That’s the advice of the “Heartbreak Recovery Specialist” Troy Byer, who is talking about how to not to lose ourselves once in a relationship. She points out that merging identities happens quite often when insecurity is present, so it is imperative to stay true to what you love doing on your own. The best-selling author, actor, director, and producer has a multitude of insights into relationships and how to heal after heartbreak. Troy got her start as an actress appearing in a number of movies and TV roles, and later gained her knowledge into breakups from her own personal experiences. She has since gone on to counsel countless others and make a career out of writing, producing, and giving advice. Not only is she talented in the writing and film world, but she already has her MA in Depth Psychology and is currently studying to earn her doctorates degree. With her second book on the way and the release of her film on DVD and digital download coming out in April, Troy is constantly excelling in many areas. When asked what she enjoys the most of all her various projects, she responded, “I love it all. The most important thing to me is that whatever I am doing, it must be consistent with my brand’s intention and that is to “empower and inspire.” ell, empower and inspire she sure does. Troy can be seen as regular on the Steve Harvey show giving advice, offers her own one-on-one-guidance, and even holds heartbreak recovery counseling (HRC) sessions. She says that she’d love to be doing it even more often and dreams to one day have HRC meetings be as widely available as AA meetings. “I am a firm believer that no one should ever have to suffer alone. The suicide rate is so sad, and I am literally moved to tears when I think of the absolute 110 || FITNESS M A G A Z I N E || APRIL / MAY 2015 pain one has to be in before deciding to take his or her life. If I could, I would just give the entire planet a big hug.” That is exactly why Troy is loved and revered by everyone who comes into contact with her. And it is easy to understand why, as she only desires to help and motivate people to be happy. Her personal experience with divorce is partly where she gained her understanding and realized the need for others to learn how to heal their heart in order to move on and find happiness again. She divulges that, “After my husband and I divorced, I chose to only acknowledge the great things about him. And as a result, we both experienced the pain caused by breakup, but very little suffering. My knowledge is derived from years of research and working with individuals suffering from heartbreak. Neuroscience has a lot to say about heartbreak and the literal impact heartbreak pain has on the body, specifically the brain.” Thus, she wrote down her action plan for how to be free after heartbreak and turned it into an Amazon best-selling self-help book entitled, “ExFree: 9 Keys to Freedom After Heartbreak.” The book contains practical practices for releasing, healing, and transforming lives – something that Troy is used to doing as an everyday superhero, rescuing scores of people from the throes of heartbreak woes! Asked to describe the most memorable in her career thus far, when she knew that she had changed someone’s life, Troy described a divorced couple she worked with who absolutely could not be in the same room for more than five minutes without bickering. “Their anger was actually hiding their sadness. Once we dealt powerfully with their sadness, all that was left for them to say was ‘I love you, I will always love you.’ They spent the next two years re-creating their relationship as parenting partners and shared several wonderful holidays together. I was very proud of the results we were &