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AGING with an Attitude
By Dorie U . Sugay
Dorie Sugay is the Executive Director of Visiting Angels , a company that provides livingassistance services to seniors and adults-in-need who wish to stay in their own home or receive oneon-one care within a facility .
This article is for informational and educational purposes only . It was written independent of Visiting Angels .
It Really Is About Simple Pleasures
In graduate school we are required to engage in a lot of reflection – what constitutes the self ? What is the authentic self ? What gives life meaning ? In this article , I want to engage you in a simple reflection that I hope will help put a spring in your step because with simple acts , you can actually make a big difference . Nothing is easy these days , you say ? Read on , my friends , because this one is as easy as can be .
Originally , this column was to contain information for and about seniors . It has since evolved into a vessel for my mission to promote “ aging with an attitude .” And , being happy gives you that attitude ! For this exploration , when we talk about “ being happy ” let ’ s talk about moments –— short moments of joy experienced when seeing someone you love , to longer strings of happy moments that may last minutes , hours , days , weeks … even years ! I am not talking about that sense of joy or inner peace that the Dalai Lama preaches about . I am talking about moments that can be strung together . Simple , happy moments .
What makes you happy ? Is it looking out of your window and appreciating the hills that surround your backyard ? Or do you have to be sipping coffee at a posh restaurant in London ? Could you be happy just watching a child marvel at a lizard ? Or do you have to be navigating the ski slopes in Aspen ? Could you be happy spending time with a parrot who can only utter two words or do you need to be in the company of someone you love to be happy ? Do you appreciate snippets of joy or do you need to be feeling that adrenaline rush all day long ?
I took the time to talk to as many people as possible to find out what makes them happy and their answers included both “ ordinary ” and “ extraordinary ” experiences . I also did some research at the university and came upon a number of studies conducted on this subject .
One study , in particular , required people to rate a happy event . The researchers wanted to know whether ordinary or extraordinary events make people happier . The results revealed that as people age , what makes people happy changes . Younger people tended to find more joy in extraordinary experiences ; in many cases , not giving ordinary experiences much thought . Older people , on the other hand , though appreciative of extraordinary experiences , seemed to derive more joy from ordinary moments they perceive as special . “ Ordinary experiences produce as much happiness as extraordinary experiences when individuals have limited time remaining ,” wrote the study authors , as published in The New York Times .
This explains the lament of one of our clients at Visiting Angels : “ Mom can be confusing , we took her to Hawaii , which was a trip on her bucket list , and yet when we returned , she talked more about my little girl stringing flowers pulled from a bush and making her a lei . Go figure , I didn ’ t have to take her to Hawaii it seems .” In truth , her Mom appreciated seeing Kauai . But the gesture of her granddaughter tugged at her heart . As the study suggests : as we age , we learn to appreciate simple , ordinary pleasures and we find joy in moments that tug at our heart strings .
Think about it - the level of adrenalinerush seems to correlate with a young person ’ s enjoyment of an experience . A 22- year old may find a trip to the aesthetically beautiful city of San Diego to attend a wedding boring , but his parents who are with cousins they have not seen for a while would rate that experience a nine , even if it were held in a not-so-desirable setting .
Readers of this column tend to be 40 and above . Some have parents 60 years old and above , with relatives and caregivers who are under 35 . We now know that we don ’ t necessarily need to do anything
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