Months To Years Winter 2019 Months To Years Winter 2019 - Page 47

clear. I don’t care what we do— until 3:30!” One absolutely silent that I know it’s a bad visit. I can day a blonde woman rather energetically told never be sure because there is only so much I can the woman she was walking with, “One of these learn in the 15 or 20 seconds it takes for our lives days I’m gonna have to like say, ‘Do you know how to cross before these people turn the corner and really annoying you are?’ and you know I’ll do it.” disappear forever. Most of what I hear is not profound. On one visit, late in the day, I had managed to I don’t plan ahead for these visits to the hospital pull myself up a little. My short rest sitting as to sit and listen. There is no regular pattern on still as the potted plant beside me had revived the calendar for when I go. I don’t even know how me enough that I stood up and resumed my life many times I’ve gone or how many hours I’ve sat as an animated being. That was when a father still and passive and waiting. I’ve never heard approached, leaning over his daughter at almost mom’s voice. I do not expect to. My trips are spur- 90 degrees to look her directly in the face. As of-the-moment things when I am sad or tired of they walked along, this father held his hand on the world and the people in it. I go when I have to the shoulder of his serious and sad-looking brown- resist an urge to tell someone how annoying they haired girl and he quietly advised her, “We always are, because I know that sort of thing never ends want to be nice. And we always want to be plain- well for me. I go when I think I need some short forward and ourselves.” bit of time when I can be sure I will not annoy anyone else. I don’t know what enormous stresses this family was going through, but I thought that counsel It is sad to see children, unless I’ve gotten a hint was the best I’d heard in a long time, something that they are coming to see their new baby sister anyone could benefit from, something my mom or brother. I can sometimes tell. The excitement would agree with, and something that I have tried level is high. People are smiling. There are to do myself ever since. balloons. It is when the kids are sad, crying, or Matthew Menary lives in St. Louis County, Missouri where he writes and teaches English online. He has lived in France, Hawaii, Missouri, California, and Japan in spite of the fact that his favorite activity is staying home in a comfortable chair and reading. In September 2018, Lowestoft Chronicle (issue 35) published his essay “Oh Pardon” online. He also had an essay published in the anthology, I Thought My Father Was God. 50 47