Months To Years Spring 2018 Months To Years Spring 2018 - Page 44

“ Loved ones of the dying also tend to act differently near death but the common denominator seems to be that we act out in all sorts of erratic ways . Death threw a wrench into my normal behavior – it ’ s semi-impossible to go through your days when an energetic cord of love that huge is about to be yanked from your existence and you know that any second now you are going to lose someone forever and that it ’ s going to ache .

In that moment , I felt the most overwhelming sense of peace that has ever fallen upon me . I knew in that very instant that everything was going to be all right . There was no doubt in my mind that I was eternally safe , taken care of , and need not ever have another problem in the world for the rest of my days . There was no thought pattern to dissuade me from knowing this ; I simply knew . It was a feeling that I had never before felt in my life and that to this day I have never been quite able to recreate . It was as if I had slipped into the real world , the one behind our thoughts and words , where everything intrinsically made sense . I knew I could lose all my money , all my friends , and be lying face down in a ditch somewhere with the only remaining thing that could possibly happen to me being death – and that somehow that wouldn ’ t be so bad after all . I stopped being afraid .
The next morning , I learned that my father had passed in the night . Two weeks later , I discovered that a deer , in ancient German folklore , is the animal that arrives to walk a human being through the veil between life and death .
Kimberly Nichols is a writer and artist living in Los Angeles . Her work has been published in many literary journals and publications including Phantom Seed , Poet , Small Spiral Notebook , Stoneslide Collective and 3 AM Magazine . She is the author of the book of short stories Mad Anatomy ( Del Sol Press ) and , for nearly a decade , was the managing editor of the online socio-political journal Newtopia . Most recently , her work has appeared in The Establishment , Los Angeles Times , Vice , and Wine Enthusiast . A recent essay won Honorable Mention by the 14th Annual New Millennium Writing Awards . She also has a website called Double-Mirror . com , which features reflections on popular culture and is co-written with a psychologist . She has recently completed a novel called Neptune Journey and is working on a book about desire .
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