Months To Years Spring 2018 Months To Years Spring 2018 - Page 24

I had so much hope when we met with you. I still have your scribbles of prognosis percentages. They were pretty high. Well, compared to the other doctors we met at other hospitals, who had normal names, like Larson and Benton, but lower prognosis percentages. You seemed very efficient and I favor people who take care of business. But I didn’t take into account that your character was as cold as your name, and that you cared more about the numbers than the patients behind the numbers. I’m sorry I paged you at 5AM that morning. You were clearly annoyed to be woken up. Jim’s breathing just didn’t feel right. Apologies By Rachel Greenley Funny, when Jim collapsed and the ambulance took him to the Emergency Room, the ER doctor was also annoyed. He was wondering why Jim had been at home versus in intensive care and why Jim’s young wife was completely clueless that he was dying. He asked me if Jim had a Apology to Dr. Idiot I’m sorry I called you Dr. Idiot behind your back. palliative care plan in place, and I responded, “What’s palliative care?” Trust me, I know that one’s on me. I was annoyed that you visited Jim every day in the hospi- Apology to the Priest in the ER tal to offer expertise you didn’t have. And with each visit Perhaps if you hadn’t sat down next to me and taken my came an invoice. You were a primary care physician, not hand. Or perhaps if you weren’t dressed in a black robe an oncologist. Jim had leukemia, not a cold. with that large cross hanging from your neck. You see, I didn’t know my husband was dying and then you showed I’ll also admit I have a thing against Hawaiian shirts and up hovering at my side and it freaked me out. And I know Birkenstocks on a doctor. Clearly my own issue. you probably are comforting to a lot of people, but to me you might have as well been death himself. But mostly I was frustrated that you pushed us to stay in the community hospital, even though we were surrounded I’m sorry I recoiled when you touched me. Neither of us by renowned cancer centers. You said the treatment would read the situation well. be the same anywhere. “Cookie cutter” is what you said. Maybe the treatment would have been the same but we sort of assumed the hospital wouldn’t get the diagnosis wrong. In your defense, I hadn’t heard of biphenotypic   Apology to Jim I’m not sure where to start. leukemia either.   Apology to Dr. Remains Rachel Greenley is a Seattle-based writer neck-deep in a I’m sorry that’s your name. You must hear a lot of bad collage memoir about love and loss. She was published in jokes. Brevity, and can be reached on Twitter @GreenleyRachel 24