Months To Years Fall 2018 Months To Years Fall 2018 - Page 63

For Femi By Elizabeth Olushola Adeolu There is no rhyme to my pain I didn’t send you one at Easter There is no rhythm to my grief I don’t know if I will send you one this Christmas I just want to let it out I try to look for your face in mine To free my burdened heart I stare and stare sometimes my eyes hurt   Have I said goodbye? I check back every month I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I? To see whether I have let you go fully I miss you like I never thought I would Your birth date is my trigger Silent and deep Its significance never lost on me I’m screaming in silence Days left, you never celebrated it     Dave thinks seeing you in my dreams is bad luck I read the messages we shared  I listen to the recordings of your voice He gives me verses to dispel familiar spirits I look at our pictures and weep for what you could have I don’t talk about you to mum though been She misses you so, perhaps more than I do What we could have done I hear it in her voice   I read it in her messages   I hate that you didn’t get to see my children That they don’t get the privilege to call you Uncle You left a long time ago, even before you left I miss that I can’t just call to check on you But I knew I could always count on you   I knew you were always there Now I like to pretend you’re still a phone call away I like to pretend I will see you when I visit That we’ll jest like old times about our shared secrets  About the memories that formed our bond It’s moons since you left But nothing’s changed   They say time heals wounds They lied   You didn’t get my Christmas message Or maybe you did Elizabeth Olushola Adeolu is a Nigerian writer who currently resides in the United Kingdom. She is studying for a Ph.D. in Linguistics and English Language at the University of Edinburgh. She writes fiction and poetry. She is the author of a detective fiction book, Chasing Façades. Her poetry has been published in Acumen and Anchor literary journals. She enjoys singing and watching a broad range of TV shows. 63