Months To Years Fall 2018 Months To Years Fall 2018 - Page 30

Grief By Susan Miller Grief sneaks up on you at the checkout line at Safeway. When you spy the autumn bouquet in the orange pot that you brought to the hospital the last day only to find that flowers are forbidden in the ICU. Grief rumbles along the rocky trail by the canal as you put foot to pedal to somehow cycle away searing memories on a Sunday afternoon. It greets you when you come home from work and the door bangs behind you       and your muscles ache  and your head hurts and your stomach gnaws and you think you should just make some pasta, read the paper and lie down. You want to keep that firm grip, nod and say the right things: yes, a little bit sad, but doing OK thanks for asking. You don’t want to lose it in some weird, reality-TV inappropriate way. Like bursting into tears at the 3:30 meeting, raging at the impossibly slow clerk at Macy’s, ripping to shreds the next person who asks if you are ready for Christmas. There is no handbook on this. It is the limp you learn to live with, the piece that is missing, the ache that you know will never go away. Susan Miller is an editor and writer for USA Today. She enjoys writing poetry and short stories as a hobby. Her work has appeared in Gemini Magazine, Common Ground Review and Beach Life. She is a diehard sports fan, biker, kayaker and believer that you are never too old for anything. 30