MODERN MARKETING
this brave new world. I say ‘we’,
but I really mean, ‘you’. I gave up
struggling a while ago and embraced
the inevitability of social change.
B2B businesses in particular are still
reluctant to let go.
and packets of corn flakes. A minute
later he reaches the checkout to be
greeted by the presenter:
“Congratulations! You’ve managed
to collect dog food, packets of
couscous and some feminine hygiene
products!”
“But I don’t have a dog. I wanted
salmon.”
“Never mind. There’s still the, eh,
couscous!”
“I don’t like couscous. I wanted
salmon.”
“Well, perhaps your wife… umm…”
“Not married.”
“Oh.”
“I wanted salmon.”
“So why didn’t you go and get
salmon?”
“I wasn’t ready.”
So my client scurried around my
office flailing his arms and asking
me to make a list:
“We need posters, loads of posters,
posters everywhere. And ads. I want
ads. Ads need to be in everything.
We’ll have online ads too, you know,
the square ones, and the tall thin
ones and, ah, what the hell, give
me some spinny-roundy ones. Get
me radio ads and leaflets and don’t
forget some CPTs, whatever they
are. And stickers I want stickers.
We’ll give them out to everyone on
the streets. Everyone loves a sticker.
Who doesn’t like a good sticker, eh?”
“But this is a social media campaign.
Those things aren’t social media.”
“I know, I know, but I can’t risk it. I’ve
always had posters. I’m letting you do
the social thing because, you know,
everyone says I should. But that
doesn’t mean I like it. I like posters.”
“So, is there an additional budget for
this integrated campaign?”
“Eh, no. You’ll have to take the cost
out of the social media budget.”
“Right. So it’s not a social media
campaign now, it’s a poster
campaign.”
“Well, if you look at it like that,
technically, eh, yes.”
As I escorted the client to the door,
he was still complaining fervently
about the fully descriptive nature
of the expletives I used to describe
where he should shove his posters.
There’s nothing wrong with ‘posters’,
or any other traditional media.
But you can’t pretend you’re ready
for social change when you’re
not. There’s nothing wrong with
integrated marketing either. But you
can’t partially commit to a social
strategy and switch it on and off
when it suits you. Your social activity
is a strategic, long-term relationship
with your customers and prospective
customers. It’s about what they want,
and not necessarily what you might
like. Oh, and for the record, they don’t
want your f***ing stickers.
You can no longer have everything all
your own way. Sorry about that. So
the next time you talk to me about
your social media requirement, I’m
going to give you one minute to
convince me you’re 100% committed.
Ready? Go.
Scot McKee: Brand Strategy Legend,
Managing Director Brand/Digital Agency
Birddog, Author ‘Creative B2B Branding
(no, really)’, B2B Marketing Columnist,
Social/Mobile Advocate & Rock God.
We still appear to struggle with
September 2016
ModernBusiness
31