MODERN LEADERSHIP
his intention; it was just his action
(behaviour). His intention was
to focus on the message and it’s
impact on the work.
We judge ourselves by our inside
intentions; others judge us by our
outside behaviours. Sam knew
he was listening, but Stephanie
didn’t ‘see’ him listening, ergo he
‘wasn’t listening’. When it comes
to relationships in the workplace,
perception is reality; therefore,
Stephanie and the team felt the
boss didn’t care.
During our coaching program,
Sam worked hard to close the gap
between his inside intention and
outward behaviour by changing
some of his actions. He made eye
contact, smiled more, nodded as
people spoke and held an open,
approachable facial expression with
lifted eyebrows, whenever possible.
He didn’t listen any differently; he
showed that he listened differently.
Separating behaviour from
intention
People are not their behaviours
but we treat them as such. When
a driver ‘cuts us off’, we label
them stupid, irresponsible, or a
bad driver. (In Sam’s case: a poor
listener.) Yet that one behaviour
or situational response doesn’t
define their entire character. It’s not
necessarily an enduring personality
trait; it’s just something they did.
Our human tendency to judge
someone’s character based on the
situation or exhibited behaviour is
the result of a cognitive bias called
the Fundamental Attribution Error.
We are quick to judge others from
40 ModernBusiness
February 2016
their outside behaviours yet when
it comes to developing new skills,
focusing on behaviours does not
motivate people to change those
behaviours, especially if they are
not helpful ones. Working from their
intention will produce better and
more sustainable results.
Think about the last time you cut
off a driver. Perhaps you didn’t
mean it? Your outward behaviour
was not your inside intention. When
they react by beeping their horn at
you, it is unlikely to have a positive
effect on your behaviour. Rather
than apologise, the other driver is
now treated to a return honk of the
horn—hardly a productive exchange.
Moving beyond behaviours
It takes a lot to look beneath
the behaviour and focus on the
intention. Lets face it, it’s much
easier to respond to what’s in
front of us and assume people’s
behaviours define their character.
It’s easier and less complicated.
It’s also less effective in building
relationships and overcoming
leadership derailers.
‘changing their personalities’.
•
People are more engaged
when they know they are on the
right track, which leads to greater
openness, creativity and insight.
•
People are open to
change when the conversation
acknowledges their effort.
•
People see themselves
from the inside and sometimes
can’t relate to perceptions from the
outside.
Leaders need to polish the
edges to get to the next level of
leadership. Focusing on intention,
not behaviour is the cornerstone of
developing leadership, on the job—
where real growth occurs.
To overcome leadership derailers
(and help people take their foot
off the brake), it’s critical to focus
on the inside intention driving the
outward behaviour.
•
People who feel seen and
heard are more willing to make an
effort.
•
People are less defensive
when y