MG Motoring 2018 October 2018 - opt | Page 10

MG Car Club of South Australia

MGC NEWS

MGC conversations with Richard Mixture , October 2018

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Smoke makes the lights go on ! ello again , it ’ s Richard here . The “ Antique Automobile Club America ”, God bless their little socks , published this wonderful piece of scientific logic all about things British and MG Experience has published it as well . So , I thought , why shouldn ’ t we do it too ?
They called it “ ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS ”
I ’ m sure it had nothing to do with Joe Lucas ( 1834-1902 ) but was the recorded mutterings of some Octagonafiles with plenty of time of their hands and little else to do . It probably happen at night when you consider that slogan attributed to Lucas Electrics , " A gentleman does not motor about after dark ." These gentlemen can ’ t possibly be English Gentlemen , can they ? Anyway , it goes like this ;
“ Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning , which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as " smoke ". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work . We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit , it stops working . This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing .
For example , if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery , prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly after ceases to function . In addition , if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator , it will also be observed that the component no longer functions . The logic is elementary and inescapable !
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The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another . When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system , nothing works afterward .
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke , requiring very unsightly large wires .
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch , Japanese or American counterparts . Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British , and all things British leak . British engines leak oil , British shock absorbers , hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid , British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defence secrets .
Therefore , it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke . Once again , the logic is clear and inescapable .
In conclusion , the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas , Ltd .”
“ the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as " smoke "? Surely this phase is creative writing at its best . There are several creative , SA Car Club members that come to mind whose short circuit brains can put words together in such an innovative way and one of them owns an MGC !