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MetroVanIndependent.com
October 2015
lifestyle
Tact and discretion can be developed
By Jackie Diy
The knife maybe sharp but as they say,
nothing can be sharper than the tongue.
So many sayings have been coined in
support of tact and discretion. But at times,
we are simply unable to apply these very
important traits when speaking or writing.
Whether we are in a rush or are undergoing
emotional distress, we can maybe pause
for a moment, re-think our words, make
changes if need be, double check, and
then say them out loud at the right time.
As they say, count to ten before
speaking up. There is this famous quote:
T-H-I-N-K which stands for “Is it True, is it
Helpful, is it Inspiring, is it Necessary, and
is it Kind”?
These are amazing criterias to live
by each time we need to utter or write
words. In this day where social media
can be more powerful than the sword, it
is imperative that we exercise due caution
when posting things in public. Not only
does our negative demeanor harm others,
it actually is a mirror of who we are. So yes,
time is valuable and we do need to take a
few seconds of this valuable time to ponder
on our statement. Our words, once said,
cannot be taken back and of course, our
actions validate our words.
So when we want to say something,
all these five criteria will come into play.
They are a given. Now let us try to look at
a few examples and then reflect on what
impact they create on the recipient of our
words. Here is a couple that I made up at
the moment:
1. Your friend asks you to go with her
to shop for a gown to wear at a red carpet
event. She tries on her choices but you
personally think that they may not be the
best styles for her.
Negative statement: “I don’t like how
the fabric is hugging your body too tightly
and it is showing your … etc.”
Positive approach: “I really love how
the color of that dress brings out the fire
in your hair. There is also this other style
that I think might suit you. Do you want to
try that too?”
Lesson (and I always teach this): If
you really need to point out a defect, say
something nice first.
2. We’ve seen people say ver y
discouraging things to a person who they
think is focusing on an interest that may not
be potentially successful for them. Here is
something that you probably have heard
many times:
Negative statement: “I don’t think
painting is a career for you. There is no
money in painting and you are just going
to fail.”
Positive approach: “I love how your
painting brings out so much about you and
your imagination. Is this something that you
There are countless ways by
which we can turn something
negative into something positive.
While we take the time to make
a difference, we do want to keep
in mind that they may still not be
taken well. This can happen and
we do not have full control of
how others react to our words.
In this day where social media
can be more powerful than
the sword, it is imperative that
we exercise due caution when
posting things in public. Not
only does our negative demeanor
harm others, it actually is a
mirror of who we are.
want to keep doing even while you will be
working?”
There are countless ways by which
we can turn something negative into
something positive. While we take the time
to make a difference, we do want to keep in
mind that they may still not be taken well.
This can happen and we do not have full
control of how others react to our words.
But an important thing to remember is that
at our end, we have tried to use tact and
discretion.
For some, it may be difficult to start
putting these value systems into their daily
habits, but it is worth a try. You may one
day be surprised they have become an
inherent part of your communication and
writing skills.
It is never too late to make positive
changes in our lives. No one is ever too
young or too old to adapt to change. As
long as we have the willingness to learn
and become better people than we were
yesterday, nothing is impossible!
The world is small and we can meet
the same people at least twice in a lifetime.
We want to be able to meet them without
having to apologize because we had to.
Let’s practice tact and discretion as
best we can. Let’s start today.
A performing arts mentor and public
speaker, Jackie is a mentor in creative
drama, film, dance, theatre arts, and
stage performance. Jackie was trained in
Drama and Theatre Arts at the University
of the Philippines, Diliman and holds a BSC
degree in Business Management from the
De La Salle University, Manila, Philippines.